Heavy On Charm

2010-07-23T13:53:00.004-05:00

If this isn't motivation then I don't know what is....

2009-09-15T15:59:00.002-05:00

So I am finishing up my physical therapy after having neck surgery. I go twice a week... I went today and worked my butt off!!! I thought I would stop at JCPenny's on the way home and see what was on sale. I was pretty excited.... that is.... until I started trying on clothes. So prior to surgery I was comfortably in a size 12, sometimes a 10, but mostly 12's no matter what brand. Today I tried on two different pairs of 14s and they looked like they were painted on. OMG, talk about heart failure. No more of this eating like crap, not working out, etc. I didn't work this hard to get fat again!!!!

Ok so I have a game plan. Starting tomorrow I am going to go back to the basics for a few days. Protein Shakes morning, noon and night.... then I will slowly start back on high protein, low carb good for me stuff!!!!

I will keep you posted on my progress.

Long time no hear (or post for that matter)

2009-09-14T20:16:00.002-05:00

Well my how things have changed since February. So the neck saga continued and eventually I had to have surgery to remove the herniated disc and fuse two vertebrae together in May, which I have to say was the best thing I could have done. However, my weight has suffered tremendously. I've been away from the gym per doctors orders for more than 8 months and have truely had to sit on my rear-end to heal. As of today however I can at least walk on a treadmill. From my new ticker at the bottom of the page I would like to lose 38.4 pounds to get to my goal weight. Not to say all of that is added weight, only about 20 lbs is, which literally makes me sick to my stomach. Enough is enough, I am getting myself back on track now that I can exercise more than just a jaunt around the block.

New Goals:
Increase Protein Intake
Decrease Carbohydrate Intake
Increase Water Intake
Walk on the Treadmill Every Day
Be Healthy to Have a Baby

Yes, that last one is probably the highest on the list. Now that I am no longer broken, I have things to do!!!

What a week!!!!

2009-02-07T18:41:00.002-05:00

So I have had quite the week. I went to the doctors, had to get x-rays, fainted and had to go to the ER..... Medically speaking it was a really really long week. To make a really long story short.... everything is absolutely fine, nothing that a day of rest, some physical therapy and a massage won't take care of!!!

So my goals have been updated starting with the new week....
1. Go to the gym 5 out of 7 days for a cardio workout. (no weights for me for a while)
2. Eat between 1000 & 1200 calories a day.
3. Get between 80g. and 120g. of protein a day
4. Track my progress using www.sparkpeople.com
5. Weigh myself tomorrow and then have my darling husband hide the scale until 4 weeks from today!!!!
6. I would like to loose enough weight to make it to 145 pounds by my 2 year post op appointment on June 4th.....

Wow, Its February Already!!!!

2009-02-01T21:00:00.002-05:00

So I fell off the workout wagon this week, not for lack of wanting too, but I manged to mangle the muscles in my shoulder and have had nagging pain all week. I'm going to try to get into the doctor's tomorrow and maybe try going to the gym for at least a cardio workout since I am going stir crazy!!!

I have found a couple cool things to share. I found a website called www.sparkpeople.com that allows you to put in your goals and calculate your calories/protein/carbs for the day and track your workouts as well. There are many of them out there, but I am going to try this one for now. I think it is a great free tool for anyone to use that is working to track there food intake and workout info. The other thing that is way cool for those of us that have protein shakes on a regular basis. It is called a Blender Bottle. The one I have came from a local GNC. It is a bottle that has a stainless steel spring in the shape of a ball that blends the protein powder and liquid without lumps..... This is an awesome tool for those of us mixing on the road or without access to a electric mixer. The other benefit is that it doesn't put as much air in the shake as an electric mixer, for those of us that can't handle that on a regular basis.

I took a day off

2009-01-23T19:37:00.002-05:00

So I made it to 4 days in a row, but ended up taking yesterday off. I was physically and emotionally drained. I did hit the gym again today and did 40 minutes on the Arc Trainer. I'm loving that machine :) I am still very, very motivated. It has only been a week and I mentally and physically am seeing the benefits already. I'm not sure on the whole weight thing... I feel like a lard a$$ at 170 pounds. That is 12 pounds higher than my lowest weight in April of 2008, but I am beginning to think that it is probably the conversion of fat to muscle as I heard that muscle weighs 3 times as much as fat!!!!! I'm excited to see how my body changes.

We had a beautiful day today it was in the mid forties, however a deep freeze is headed this way with the highs only in the teens. I can't wait until Spring!!!!!

Third Day in a Row.... Argh!!!!

2009-01-20T18:41:00.002-05:00

Today was my 4th time at the gym and my 3rd day in a row. I am definitely getting into the swing of things. I love the gym and think it was a great decision on my part.

I have found out a few key things:
1. I can't work out after 4pm, I get so pumped up that I can't settle and go to sleep for the night.
2. It does get easier....
3. I'm not as young as I once was :)

I have vowed to do the following things:
1. Go to the gym 6 out of 7 days a week
2. Do a cardio workout everyday
3. Get into a routine with weights upper body one day and lower body the next day
4. Get up and go to the gym before work (Monday to Friday)
5. Get at least 100g. of protein per day, 30g before working out and 30g after working out.
6. Get 64oz. of water per day.
7. Hide the scale!!!!!! I can't be obsessed with my weight right now, I am building muscle which weighs 3 times as much as fat!!!!! The weight will come off by itself.

I did it.... I finally joined a gym

2009-01-14T19:17:00.003-05:00

I joined Planet Fitness on Monday and went for the first time today and I loved every minute of it!!!!! I am going to a RNY Support Group Meeting tomorrow for a refresher of what I should be doing. I'll keep everyone posted with my progress!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

2009-01-09T19:40:00.003-05:00

Well here it is 18 months post surgery and into a new year and time for my New Year's Resolution!!! So I am creeping past 165 pounds and I need to get myself under control!!! I am going to take my own advice from long ago and adhere to a strict eating plan, write everything down, and ensure I get enough water. I am also going to join a gym. I think my goals for 2009 are to be a fit 145 lbs and get pregnant..... Only time will tell. Plus I am going to blog more for my own sanity!!!

I'm Happy, Healthy and I Think I'm Done :)

2008-05-04T16:19:00.002-05:00

Wow, what an amazing trip it has been. I've lost 125 pounds since starting the process of having RNY Gastric Bypass. I feel amazing!!!! I wear a size 8-10-12 depending on the cut and style, which isn't something that I can say I have been able to do in a decade or more!! Speaking of decades, my 10 year college reunion is coming up at the end of the month and I am looking forward to going!! In the past I would have avoided it like the plague, but I know have confidence and am comfortable in my own skin (even with the excess hanging around ;P).

I do have to say once I got to 158 pounds I've really slacked this week on eating well. I've without a doubt carb loaded to beat the band and when I just weighed myself clothed at 5:30 at night I weighed 165 pounds, EEEK!!! I better get my butt back in gear and sort it out. Moral of the story is that eating like crap makes you gain weight with or without the surgery.

I did go meet with the nutritionist prior to falling off the band wagon this week. This is what she and I settled on (and that I should stick with when I remove my head from my butt). 1000-1200 calories per day. 200-300 per meal and ~200 per snack. So to be fair to myself and get back on track this is what I am going to follow per my appointment.

Early Morning:
Sugar Free No Fat Chai Latte

Breakfast:
Cheese Stick
Planters Berry Almond Granola

Lunch:
3 oz Tuna Fish with 4 Kashi 7 Grain Stoneground crackers (yum!!!)

Snack:
Cheese Stick or Fruit
Kashi Chewy Granola Bar or Veggies with Hummus

Dinner:
Protein/Veggie/Starch

Snack:
Unjury Protein Shake w/ Skim Milk

Now that I am happy where I am and am looking forward to a healthy life I want a baby!!! Hopefully a pregnancy will be in the cards within the next year or so :)

Slowing Down....

2008-04-04T07:48:00.002-05:00

Well I've lost almost 118 pounds and I feel good, really, really good. I'm at the point where I'm not sure if I would look good or feel good if I did loose the other 20 pounds that I wanted to. I'm comfortably a size 10-14 on bottom and a Large on top. I think I look darn good too!!! I think my main goal now is to tone my body. I think I may loose some more weight, but it will be from toning. I think my body is happy too, we'll have to see if I end up losing more weight or not.

If there is anyone out there considering surgery all I have to say is that it is THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF. I am happy and healthy and I love myself. I'm not trying to be conceded, but I've never felt good or pretty in my own skin and I do now. I feel like what I've always thought everyone else felt.

I'm a SUCCESS!!!

2008-03-01T07:53:00.003-05:00

Woo Hoo!!!! As of this morning I weigh 168.2 which means that.... drum roll please...... I have SURPASSED my doctor's goal to consider my surgery successful!!! I am absolutely thrilled that I am doing well. This weight also means that I have 23.2 more pounds to loose to make it to my ideal weight of 145. I can't tell you how exciting this is. I'm on cloud nine!!!!! That also means that my only goal that I have left on my original list is to make it to 145 pounds by July 12th (and keep in mind that date was originally October 9th....). I'm so motivated now to be healthy, happy and skinny!!!

The Last 27 Pounds :)

2008-02-24T19:21:00.002-05:00

How weird is that?!?! I can say the last 27 pounds like it is just a drop in the bucket. I have been plateaued at 172 pounds which is a loss of 111 pounds since I started the whole process last year. I tried the 5-Day pouch test twice now and something has thrown a kink in it both times. I really need to go back to the basis and drop the carbs out of my diet. I am a carb junkie and I'm losing the battle with the Carb MONSTER. I need to buckle down and get my butt in gear.

I'm going to try go bump up my protein intake from a shake 2-3 times a day plus high protein meat, poultry & fish and try to eliminate carbs for the most part. I also need to work out 5 out of 7 days per week since I've been sitting on my rear end all winter long. Since I didn't obtain my revised goal of reaching 169 pounds by Valentine's Day I will try to reach or surpass it by Easter. I'd really still like to loose all 27 pounds by my birthday. That would mean I would have 6 months after reaching my goal weight to stabilize prior to thinking about starting a family.

I'm going to start saving my pennies for a shopping spree after the next 27 pounds leave my body!!!

I am only 3 pounds from my doctor's goal of 169. I'd like to weigh 145 pounds when all is said and done. Even though my surgeon's idea weight for me is 130 pounds, I'm not sure I would look healthy at that weight. I'm already getting a hard time from my mother who thinks I have lost enough weight, she who might weigh 110 pounds soaking wet is telling me that I am skinny :)

My goal is to post every day what I have eaten so that I can be held accountable for my actions and food choices :) Wish me luck!!

Best Laid Plans

2008-02-17T11:40:00.003-05:00

Well I really wanted to start the 5-day pouch test again, but silly me ran out of protein powder.... Oh, well. I'll stock up and try again in a few weeks. I am still at a total weight loss of 111 pounds and I have decided that I need to get my but in gear and work out!!! Here I come treadmill, elliptical and pilates. I'll give it a shot and see what happens.

I went shopping yesterday to get a few things in springy colors as everything I have is fall/winter. I got a pair of kakhi's and a peach sweater and a coral blouse plus a long black skirt and a cordoroy jacket that were on clearence for wardrobe staples. I have to say it is pretty cool to be a solid size 12 and a large top. I can't wait for summer, I might actually wear shorts for the first time in years and years.

Day3, Day 3 Again.... Oh No!!!

2008-02-10T11:12:00.000-05:00

Day three was great!! I had egg salad made with a bit of cottage cheese for moisture and successfully managed to make it though the day. I ended up not getting home undil really late on Day 2 and had to do another Day 3 since I didn't manage to get ground beef cooked for the next day. I was going semi-strong on Day 3 again until the afternoon and I was in a meeting and ready to eat my arm off, so I grabbed a snack that was so not on the approved list of foods for the day. I was ready to start Day 4 until the phone rang at 5:30am.... Unfortunately it wasn't good news. My husband's grandmother passed away during the night. That really shot Day 4 and Day 5 for my diet. I did get on the scale on Wednesday and had managed to lose 4 pounds prior to stopping the diet mid-stream.

We managed to get through a very emotionally draining weekend but now I have to start over again. I am starting my 5 Day Pouch Test again starting again tomorrow. I'll definately keep you posted during this trip.

Day 2...

2008-02-03T20:51:00.000-05:00

Well I successfully completed day 1 (yesterday) of the 5 day pouch test with 100g of protein and 100+ oz. of water. Today I managed to get through, although it was tough. I had 80g of protein from shakes and protein pudding and 100+ oz. of water, I also had some SF Jello Knox Blocks that my dear husband made for me. It definately did help with making me feel like I was eating something.

I resisted the urge to get on the scale this morning and had my husband hide the scale so that I wouldn't be tempted to see if I had lost weight as this is about beating the CARB MONSTER, not about weight loss. Granted on Thursday, Day 6, I will weigh myself first thing to see if there was any weight loss associated with me cutting my carbs dramatically.

Day 3 adds in soft proteins like eggs and tuna. I am very happy to say I have egg salad made with a touch of cottage cheese for moisture and mini-cans of tuna ready to go for work tomorrow.

I'm hoping that my new med continues to work as I have had some serious ups and downs over the past couple of weeks. I don't like it, but unfortunately there isn't anything I can do other than weather the storm. Once the new med gets into my system I should be good to go for a while, I hope.

Trying something new

2008-02-02T17:18:00.001-05:00

After feeling like a failure a few days this week I did some research online. I visited the site Living After Weight Loss Surgery (www.livingafterwls.com) and viewed many of the posts out there about others feelings and the ever looming question "Did I break my pouch?" I'm not the only one that has the questions, feelings or fears that I am experiencing and I found out it isn't just because they are changing my anxiety medication.

After reading this I decided that it couldn't hurt to try what they call the 5-Day pouch test. http://www.5daypouchtest.com/ After all I have been as stringent with my eating and exercise habits as I should be. The 5-Day plan takes you back to the basics and lets you get away from the dreaded "Carb Monster" that many of us Carb Junkies fall victim to.

I've had 2 protein shakes today and 64+ oz. of water. I am suffering from a dull headache due to the lack of carbs but it isnt' anything I can't handle. I'm actually thinking that I should get on the treadmill tonight and walk for at least 30 minutes. It will probably do me good!!

I'll keep everyone posted on my progression over the next 5 days. Although this plan isn't about loosing weight, it does happen as a result so I'll have to see what happens!!

A Really Long Year....

2008-02-01T18:06:00.000-05:00

but a really successful one. I started this whole process on January 26, 2007. That is the day that I went to my PCP and informed him that I wanted to have gastric bypass surgery and I haven't looked back since!! I have lost a total of 107 pounds since that day I went to the doctors and physically feel great.

At this point in time I am suffering with the transition of my anxiety medication that stopped working to a new one. I'll get through it, but I have to say it seriously stinks!!! Due to this Dr. Jekyll/Ms. Hyde stage of the medication transition I am really just happy that I haven't put any weight on. I actually lost 5 pounds last week when my weight loss picked up, but I've now plateaued again. I've been stuck at 176 pounds this week and sometimes I feel like a failure, but I shouldn't feel that way, I should be proud of what I've accomplished.

I'm looking foward to another slimming year ahead!!!

My stall is over.....

2008-01-25T10:53:00.000-05:00

So for the longest time I just thought that my weight had slowed down as I must be leaving the "honeymoon phase" however it appears that my weight loss has picked up again. I've somehow managed to loose 5 pounds in 10 days. I'm not complaining as I am getting closer and closer to my goal weight of 145 pounds (only 31.2 to go) but it just amazes me that my weight loss has picked up again. I was very skeptical that I would actually make my goal of 169 by Valentine's Day, however it may be plausible as I only have 7.2 pounds to go in 21 days. We'll see how it goes.

I was looking at my stats this morning and it is really hard to believe that I am 94% to my surgeon's goal and 77% to my personal goal. I just keep plugging along and I feel better and better the more I lose.

Who Knew......

2008-01-16T19:44:00.000-05:00

It could feel so good to be OVERWEIGHT, not Morbidly Obese or Obese, but OVERWEIGHT!!!! As of this morning I weighed in at 179.4 which calculates to a BMI of 29.9. WOO HOO!!! I'm very excited to be able to say that. I've been working my tail off and the results are amazing!!!

Change, Change, Change

2008-01-12T22:04:00.001-05:00

Change is in the air. The anxiety medication that I was on apparently has "pooped out." I am now on my way to trying another medication that should help my array of symptoms. I can't wait until I try the new stuff. I know that the results won't be immediate, but within a few weeks I am looking forward to a brighter outlook. I am extremely obsessed with my weight loss, or lack there of over the past few weeks. I am down to 181.2, but I've been stuck between 181 and 183 since Christmas and it is severely messing with my head. I've been in such a funk I haven't even managed to exercise (my New Years Resolution) and that is killing me too. I want to be out of my funk and to go on with my life. I don't like being UNHAPPY!!!

I'm trying to be optimistic about the fact that I have lost 101.8 pounds and that I am only 12.8 pounds from the doctor's goal and 36.2 pounds away from my ideal weight, but it is darn hard with my fragile mental state during this medication transition. I'm even obsessed about the fact that this medication may make me gain weight, even though I've been on anxiety meds on and off for almost 15 years.

Hopefully a few weeks from now I'll be back to normal. After all I am still striving to make it to my doctor's goal by Valentine's Day, which is only 33 days away!!

Goals, Goals, Goals:

2008-01-04T20:30:00.001-05:00

Then:
200 lbs by 12/25/2007
179 lbs (Considered Overweight not OBESE) by 7/12/2008
145 lbs by 10/9/2008

Now:
183 lbs by 12/25/2007 -Met that goal :)
169 lbs (Doctor's Goal) by 2/14/2008
145 lbs (Personal Goal) by 7/12/2008

As of this morning I have 2.4 pounds to go to be considered overweight, something I haven't been able to say since I was in college. I have 12.4 pounds to go to reach my doctor's goal and ONLY another 36.4 pounds to reach my personal goal. I can't even believe that I'm able to say that. I'm just thrilled.

I hope there is someone out there that is reading this that has had the surgery. If you are can you tell me did you have weird hormone type problems after the surgery? (mood swings, irritability, etc.) I have a doctor's appt on Monday as I hope there is something that they can do. It is getting a little overwhelming with the PMS type crap all the time.

New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-01T21:22:00.000-05:00

Wow, what an amazing year! I can't believe how much my life has changed. My husband and I viewed pictures of me that were taken in October of 2006 and I was amazed. I guess I didn't realize how much of a change had happened over the past 100 pounds. It really made me realize that I don't ever, ever want to go back there again.

I have come up with a few resolutions for the new year.

1. Walk/Jog/Run on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes per day 6 days a week.
2. Spend at least 15 minutes on the Elliptical Machine 3-4 days per week.
3. Try to get to Curves 3 times a week during the rest of the winter.
4. Get back on the band wagon - Eat Healthy... The Holiday's are over!!!
5. Save at least $50 per paycheck for my new goal weight wardrobe.

I'm also getting back into my quilting. I have caught up on my Sister's of the Square in the Square Society classes. I went the the first one in October, I missed the one in November due to work travel and the class in December I missed due to really crappy weather. I am back on the band wagon. The classes are held the first Wednesday of each month through September 2008. I'm really hooked on the Square In A Square method by Jodi Barrows. (http://www.squareinasquare.com/) It makes my life easier and a ton of fun making classic quilts!! I'm planning on taking two more SNS classes this year and I can't wait. I'm going to try to use up my stash, but I'm not making any promises, a little bit of fabric here and there never hurt any quilter :)

Happy New Year to All!! May all of your wishes come true....

Merry Christmas :)

2007-12-25T10:46:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to All!!! I hope everyone is having or had a wonderful Holiday Season! My husband and I started of the weekend by playing hooky from work and visiting Santa's Workshop at the North Pole!! http://www.northpoleny.com/ It was a long trip into the Adirondacks but is was a beautiful day and a great pleasure to see Santa's Reindeer. We then had the pleasure of spending the weekend and Christmas Eve with my Father-In-Law and will be visiting my Parents in a few minutes. It has been a wonderful weekend and a great day so far.

I do have to say that I reached my revised goal of loosing 100 pounds by Christmas.... I actually lost 100.5 pounds as of this morning. It is very exciting for me. I'll have to continue on toward my next goal which is a hop, skip and a jump away. At 179.5 pounds (only 3 more pounds) I'll be considered Overweight not Obese.... HOW COOL IS THAT ?!?!?!!? I'd like to try to make my doctor's goal of 169 by Valentine's Day and try to make my goal weight of 145 prior to June 14th, which is my one year Surgiversary.

Any how I'm off to my Parent's House, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Six Months Gone By.....

2007-12-16T17:58:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to express how much my life has changed since my surgery 6 months ago. I am thrilled with my success. I have lost 98.4 pounds and have regained my life!! I managed to spend my 6 month surgiversary moving my friend and her family into their new home. I am tired and sore but they are moved into a beautiful home.

I am having a problem with the holiday food though. I am trying to be strong and not eat all the crap that has been around. I've found a substitute for snacking for the most part... I have managed to develop a fascination for sugar-free jello knox blocks. At least I can snack on them and not be too bad. I have to pick up more supplies to make it through the week, but I think it will do the trick.

'Tis the Season

2007-12-09T18:34:00.001-05:00

to be jolly!!! I went to our office Christmas party last night and I have to say I looked darn good. Its hard to believe that I have lost 97 pounds. It seems like a lifetime ago that I weighed 283 pounds... even though it hasn't even been a year since I started the gastric bypass process.

I'm still hanging in there, even though it is the season to be jolly, I'm trying not to eat too badly. I've been on a tuna fish kick lately, so that is my main staple. I went to the doctors for my 6 month check up and my potassium and my protein levels were slightly low, the NP wasn't too worried about it, but it does concern me a bit. I'd like to start taking potassium and supplementing my protein a bit, but I am not sure it that is the correct course of action or not. I know that I can supplement my protein with a shake or 2 a day, but I am not sure what taking potassium will do. I'll have to do more research. I have lost 70% of my goal 138 pound weight loss. I think that with a little luck I will be able to reach my 100 pound weight loss by Christmas. I only have 3 more pounds to go, but I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch.

I had to go buy a pair of jeans the other day. I only had two pairs that remotely fit. The were both 14W. Even though they were the same size one pair had gotten way to big. I still can wear one pair of 14W since they are comfortable. I ended up going to JCPenny and getting a pair of regular size 14s that fit awesome. I was really tempted to get another pair in a size 12 since I love the jeans, but I'll wait until after Monday since I got 2 $10 off a $10 purchase coupons for JCPenny's in the mail yesterday. It doesn't hurt to stock up on smaller size clothes as I know I will get there eventually. I think that I am set for clothing for now, most everything that I am wearing right now on top is an XL with an occasional Large thrown if for good measure. I have a bunch of sweaters that will fit after Christmas sometime, but most everything I have gotten recently is cotton so a little hot water and a hot dryer will go a long way to shrink some of the tops when necessary. I try not to go overboard on bottoms as I seem to go through them rather fast, at least with sweaters if they get a little big it isn't a big deal.

I spent all afternoon wrapping presents today. I have everything wrapped that I currently have. I'm still waiting on a few more items to come in. I am definitely in the spirit of the season. I have Christmas cookies to make, but I am afraid that they will be too much of a temptation for me. I love cookies, especially home made ones. I am going to make a promise to myself that I will be good all week this week and over the weekend since our office is having "our" holiday luncheon and Secret Santa gift exchange on Monday the 17th. If I am good all week, then I don't feel badly having a little bit of everything on the 17th. I will then be good the following week so that I can have a nice dinner on Christmas Eve with my Father in Law and Christmas Day with my parents. Obviously when I say I am being bad, I still can't eat a lot, but I can definitely to the taste test thing :)

At the Christmas Party there was a professional photographer there, he took two poses of my husband and I, I am really looking forward to seeing the pictures and possibly ordering some for some family members. I'll keep you posted in how they come out.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2007-11-22T14:14:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My husband and I are blessed to have his brother visiting this week. My husband has made an apple pie and a pumpkin pie for today and I was in charge of the acorn squash and the green been casserole. My mother is doing all the hard work!!

Thank goodness tomorrow is Black Friday!! I have managed to break my bathroom scale and the one that I want is 20% off tomorrow. My cell phone has stopped working on anything but speakerphone for the most part so I'll have to see what deals the cell phone place has going, and I need to get a girdle! I have the most beautiful dress for our work Christmas party. The original brown one that I wanted just wasn't going to fit around my boobs. I ended up selling it to one of my co workers :) The one that I ordered is at the following link. I think that it is beautiful!!! I'm very excited about it, but I need a little smoothing action around my middle. Hopefully I will find something that works :)

http://www.coldwatercreek.com/products/product.aspx?productid=36140&ensembleid=41441

Happy Thanksgiving and good luck on Black Friday!!

Five Month Surgiversary

2007-11-14T18:03:00.001-05:00

Happy Surgiversary to me!!! I can't believe that 5 months has gone by since I had my surgery. It seems like just yesterday that I was waiting very impatiently for my surgery to be approved by the insurance company.

I can't even tell you all the changes that have happened since June 14th..... here are just a few:

* I lost 62.5 pounds since the surgery and 28 before the surgery for a total of 90.5 pounds!!
* I went from a size 26 to a size 14
* I can sit on my husbands lap without fear of crushing him :)
* I don't avoid eye contact any more
* I finally am comfortable enough to go shopping by myself
* I can do anything I want to, my weight isn't a hindrance any more!!

I look forward to loosing the next 47.5 pounds and feeling even better than I do now. Way to go me!!!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

2007-11-12T17:00:00.000-05:00

I can't believe another month has gone by. I've had so many WOW moments since the last time I posted. Here are a few....

*I can now shop in the Misses Department of JcPenny's and Kohl's.
*I can fit in an airplane seat with room on either side of me and without needing a seat belt extender.
*I can wrap a bath towel around me and it overlaps so I can run to get the phone without being totally naked :)

I have to say that I am enjoying shopping these days. I have had to buy clothing so that I don't freeze to death since winter is on its way. I have a bunch of cardigan sweaters that are great for layering that should get me through the winter and I have had to buy bulky socks since my feet are always cold (even colder than before). I try to keep about 3 pairs of pants that fit at all times since it is really hard to dress for work when your pants are falling off of you. Recently I've hit a few sales where it was buy 1 get 1 for 99 cents. I tried to get a pair of pants that would fit now and one that would fit later on so that I have something fun to look forward to. I am in a size 14 now for the most part, I have a couple of pairs of pants that are 14 that are a little too tight for my liking, but in a couple of weeks they should be fine. All my size 16 pants were dropped off at the Salvation Army today with my second load of the year. Taking the very minimum credit on all of donated clothing has added up to a nice tax right off for the year. I hope that someone out there needs clothing and that my donations will help them out!!

I am not planning on buying any more clothing until after Christmas. I've asked for gift cards or clothing from everyone as I feel like I am going through clothes like water. When I buy things I won't spend more that $20 on anything except for a heavy sweater which I might go up to $30 if it is on sale and I really like it. I'm already starting to look forward to the warm weather next year so that I can buy cute clothes for the summer. I've turned into a girly girl and it is rather scary :)

I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends over the holidays as everyone has said the change is so dramatic, I can't wait to see what they think!

ONEDERLAND :)

2007-10-12T19:22:00.000-05:00

Finally.... I can't tell you how excited I am that I have reached onederland!! I got on the scale today and even with my monthly visitor I am now below 200 pounds. I think that I have decided that I would like to loose 100 pounds by Christmas since I have reached my goal for Christmas much earlier than anticipated. If I loose 16.5 pounds between now and December 25th I'll reach my new goal!!! We'll see how it goes. I'd love to run out and buy new clothes to celebrate the fact that I am below 200 pounds, but I have to keep my spending in check and realize that I'm still shrinking.

Close, but no cigar for me...

2007-10-09T16:22:00.000-05:00

We'll I almost made my Christmas weight goal by my anniversary. I wanted to be at or below 200 pounds by this Christmas and as of today I am a solid 200.5. I'm so close to being in the 100's that I can't stand it. I'm sure the fact that I'm retaining water isn't helping me a whole lot right now, but you can't always get your way :)

I'm thrilled as I am ahead of my goals from earlier on in my process.....

200 or less by Christmas - Almost there :)
179 or less by July 2008
145 by October 2008

I'll keep plugging away and see how far I get by Christmas, no matter how much I loose by then I will be healthier than I am now!!

Back On Track

2007-10-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

My husband pointed out to me after my last blog that not everyone would know that I was joking about being bald by Christmas. I WAS JOKING, hopefully no one panicked after reading my last post that I was seriously going bald!!!

My weight loss is back on track. I try to keep my protein to carbs ratio at a 60/40 split and it has to be at least a 50/50 split even on a bad day. I've had to resort to adding a couple of protein shakes to my day and a protein pudding once a day to help me obtain my ratio, but over all I feel even better than I did before. I'm so close to ONDERLAND (weighing something that starts with a 1) that I've been weighing myself every morning. As of this morning I am even closer to obtaining my new goal of 199.5 by Tuesday. It will be close so I'll keep everyone posted.

My dear Jack Russell Sparks had to have a tumor removed from his left front paw on Friday and we are waiting for the biopsy results to come back. I hope that everything is okay with him as I would be devastated if it wasn't. Everyone say a prayer for him please!!!

I feel great, like the energizer bunny, these days. Matter of fact, my husband asked me if I was chewing down "pixie sticks" when he wasn't looking. Obviously we know that I haven't as the sugar would kill me!!!

I've finally settled down enough to start cleaning, I've been doing dishes and laundry on an off all morning. I'm probably going to start baking this afternoon. I'd like to make a bunch of cookies for gifts and for my co-workers as they've been stoning me since I have been baking like I used to. My list includes.... sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies and of course the festive pumpkin cookies with frosting!!! I know that is a lot of baking, but well see how it goes. I figure I'll be able to get at least one batch done today and there is always tomorrow if my husband has to work. Our 3rd Anniversary is on Tuesday and I was hoping that we'd be able to spend the day gallivanting around the countryside tomorrow, but we'll see.

Have a great Columbus Day weekend!!

Plateau..Hair Falling Out...Not Enough Protein...What else can happen?

2007-10-04T12:38:00.000-05:00

Wow, so the past couple of weeks have been a little scary. It started out with a plateau that lasted a solid two weeks which was nerve racking because that hasn't happened before. That made me feel like I was a failure and that I was going to gain weight. Well I tried to take it in stride and took a look at what I was eating and my ratio of protein to carbs. As it turns out I was heavy on the carbs.... I've re-evaluated things and I am now forcing more protein on myself which I can say has made me feel better. In the middle of my plateau my hair started falling out... its disgusting. I can't stand it. I've started taking Biotin 2 times a day and have gotten myself Nioxin Shampoo to see if that would help in any way too. At the rate I'm going I'll be bald by Christmas!!

The good news however is that I weighed myself this morning and am now down to 203.5 so my plateau is officially over. I'm still hoping that I can get to 199.5 before our Anniversary on Tuesday, but I'm not going to hold my breath. After all, 200 pounds was my goal for Christmas so I am way ahead of my plan. I'll be happy with whatever I get!!

I'm looking forward to the weekend as it a 4 day weekend for me, which makes me happy. I'm hoping to catch up with some quilting and maybe some cleaning :)

Motivation....

2007-09-23T19:08:00.000-05:00

I think that is the name of the game!! Now that I set a goal to be below 200 pounds by my anniversary I am back in the game!! I just did 15 minutes on the elliptical and 3 sets of 10 on the weight machine. I am going to do my best and try to make it to 199.5 in the next 16 days!!! Wish me luck :)

I think I'm crazy!!!

2007-09-23T17:01:00.001-05:00

I just decided that I want to try to make it to less than 200 pounds by my anniversary. So that would be 7.5 pounds in 16 days! I'm going to try to do it. I'm going to kick my exercising up a notch!! I'll get up at 5am for the next two weeks and get on the Elliptical, I will hijack my husband for walks at night, and I will go to Curves every night I am able to. Here is to my new GOAL!!!

What a week !!!!

2007-09-23T14:38:00.000-05:00

I'm really glad that I survived this past week. It was a long one. Monday wasn't too bad, we went to see Larry the Cable Guy and had a blast. My husband wasn't feeling too well, but he toughed it out to go with me :) Tuesday was okay for the most part, but my husband, an asthmatic, had a really rough day. He ended up at urgent care and they gave him some heavy duty meds and nebulized him. I ended up leaving work early to come home and "monitor" him. All I could think of is that he'd fall asleep and stop breathing. Yuck!! All ended up well by the next morning. However, Wednesday brought more trials and tribulations. My mother had surgery that day and all went well with the surgery, however after surgery she had a reaction to the Demerol that they were giving her. She is usually a very nice person for the most party, but became a wacko because of the pain medicine. The doctors and nursing staff had to sedate her and then had to have a 24 hour watch on her until they could get the Demerol out of her system. So due to that Thursday and Friday were not the most relaxing days for me. Saturday dawned much brighter, my mother woke up as a normal human being and actually came home today.

Now, I am dealing with my own demons. I am now down to a size 16.... WOO HOO!!! which is really awesome, however I'm losing my hair. I'm not ripping it out, not that this week hasn't warranted it, and it just keeps on coming out!!! I've started to take Biotin to try to help this situation but it won't be an overnight fix. I knew it was likely after having surgery, but it is still nerve racking to have it happen. I also feel like I've fallen off the band wagon with eating. I'm afraid that I've stretched my pouch and that I am going to get fat. I have been very strict today and I plan on being abnormally strict with my diet for the next few weeks. I'm hoping that the next time that I'll be relatively bad is on my 3rd wedding anniversary that is coming up in
October. Until then I will be eating a lot of protein and vegetables and cutting way down on the carbohydrates. I'm also going to step up my exercise. I will walk at least 30 minutes per day as well as keep working my way up in time on the Elliptical. The last time I was on it I only did 12 minutes. My goal is to do at least 30 minutes per day by this time next month!! I will also continue to work my way up on weight and the number of reps that I can do on the weight bench. I have to remind my husband to help me find the "dumbbells" that we have around the house so that I can work on my wings as they are definitely going to be a problem area.

So in a nutshell this has been my week. I'm hoping that this week will be much better!!!

There's Nothing Like the Feeling.....

2007-09-16T20:35:00.001-05:00

of your muscles burning.... I think I am becoming addicted to exercise. I'm looking forward to continuing my momentum with exercising. Today I was on the elliptical for 12 minutes and then I did 2 sets of 1o on the weight machine. I also went for a walk after dinner with my husband for about 2o minutes or so. I'll have to get up early tomorrow morning and at least do the treadmill since we have plans tomorrow night.

My hubby and are going to see "Larry The Cable Guy" and we can't wait :) I'm really looking forward to laughing my butt off.

My husband is a little sneaky though. I mentioned the other day that I got my wedding rings and engagement ring sent out for sizing. Well my husband was going to do it for our upcoming Anniversary in October so I thought he was a little early, however he told me today that I was only getting my plain gold band back before our Anniversary, I'd have to wait for our Anniversary to get my diamonds back :( Oh well, I'll survive, I've not had the diamonds in over 4 months so what is another few weeks!!

I'm going on a mini vacation this weekend and I can't wait. I'm going to visit some of my friends at a camp and all we're going to do is quilt!! I haven't had my machine out in forever and I have something I'd like to make my Aunt for Halloween. Hopefully I'll get it done while I'm there.

I've started to go through some of the clothing that I had before I gained all the weight that I'm now loosing and I am astounded with the amount of clothes that I have that fit right now, I just hope that I can wear them for a little while. They are mostly all casual tops, but anything is welcome at the moment.

Only 8.5 more pounds to go before my CHRISTMAS 2007 Goal of 200 pounds and ONEDERLAND. I think that I'm going to make it with flying colors. I'll keep you posted.

Woo Hoo.... 10 Minutes

2007-09-11T22:10:00.000-05:00

Well yesterday morning I got up and got right on the Elliptical. I managed to do 10 minutes before I got in the shower. I was thrilled. I also took a 25 minute walk while I was at work. Today I took off from exercising, which probably wasn't the best thing to do, but I was feeling under the weather all day long. I even ended up taking a nap when I got home tonight, which as been a rare occurrence lately.

Today I did breakdown and get my wedding ring(s) and engagement ring sized. I was wearing a 8.75 or 9 before the surgery and now I am a 7.25 or 7.5 depending on the width of the bands. I was absolutely shocked. I even looked at the size of my knuckles and I don't think that I'll be going down much more on ring size as my knuckles are the biggest part of my finger now, which is a real surprise and first time event!!

I ordered a dress for our work Christmas party today. I ordered a size 12 and I hope that in 3 months time the dress will fit. I'm a little worried about it, but it will eventually fit, so it isn't money wasted. I have 3 months to work my butt off to look fabulous in the dress. Here is the link.... http://www.coldwatercreek.com/W07/products/product.aspx?productid=33639&ensembleid=38693

I'm hoping the link works as it is the first time I've tried to add one.

Another 4 minutes... and a first......

2007-09-08T21:03:00.001-05:00

I got up the ambition to do another 4 minutes on the treadmill. I'm up to 7 for the day. I will probably do at least another 3 minutes or so tonight to make it close to 10. My dear husband is in on it now, hopefully he'll outlast me. I'm looking forward to getting up every morning and working on the elliptical first thing. Taking a walk during the day and going to Curves after work.

BTW-I just ordered a Columbia winter jacket from Cabela's. It is the first jacket that I've ever got that was a ladies size jacket. It should be here next week sometime, in plenty of time for the cold weather to hit!!!

Yippee, I have an Elliptical Machine!!

2007-09-08T17:08:00.000-05:00

My dear husband was kind enough to take 2.5 hours this morning while I was running errands and put together the new elliptical machine that I bought Thursday. He even ran out and got me batteries for it. Is is such a great guy, he has asthma and this hot, humid weather we've had for the past two days is killing him. He's taking a much deserved nap with the dog right now.

I love it, except I was only able to do 3 minutes on it at the lowest resistance before I thought I was going to die!!! I hope I'm not the only one that had to start out this way with baby steps!!!

I finished cleaning out the 3rd bedroom this morning so that the new elliptical has a home, however the rest of the house looks like a bomb exploded. Oh well, I'll get through the rest of the heap later today and tomorrow.

I am the proud owner of a new Elliptical Machine!!!

2007-09-07T20:42:00.001-05:00

My husband and I went and got an Elliptical machine for me and a weight machine for him last night. We're converting the 3rd bedroom we have into a mini-gym. I'm so excited to be exercising, I love it!!! He is going to try to put it together for me tomorrow after I finish moving out the remaining items in the 3rd bedroom. I can't wait to try it out in my own home :)

We've been on the move since 7:15 this morning. We dropped off my car for new tires and ran errands, came home and I started cleaning out the 3rd Bedroom which had become the storage room. I worked on it all day. I finally got Internet access back this afternoon about 4pm, so I am thrilled about that. We then ate dinner and ran up to see my husband's father who is probably an hour and half north of where we live. We visited with him for about an hour and a half and then came down picked up my car and promptly went to Home Depot. We had to get sheet rock for my husband to finish up a few things before we put our house on the market. I have to say I must be getting in shape as I was able to help him lift 2 sheets of 4'x8'x1/2" sheet rock at a time and I wasn't struggling too much :)

As a side note when I mentioned that everyone that has this surgery should make sure they get in their 64+ oz. of water a day I don't think that I put enough emphasis on it. When I wasn't drinking enough water I was tired all the time, tired enough that I felt worse than I did when they found out I was slightly anemic!!! Sip, Sip, Sip You'll feel so much better. I just finished about 90 oz for the day and I feel really good!!!

I'm off to take a shower before the T-storms hit and go to bed. Have a great weekend!!! I'll let everyone know how the elliptical is after my wonderful husband puts it together!!

I'm more than half way to my goal weight :)

2007-09-05T20:27:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that I can say that.... I have lost a total of 69.5 pounds since I've started my journey. I have 44.5 left to go to meet Dr. Graber's goal and 68.5 left to go to meet my own personal goal.

So much has happened since my last post. I had just started taking an iron supplement and was still struggling to feel better. As it turns out I don't think I was getting enough water!!! Now that I am drinking 80 oz. plus a day things are much, much better. My blood pressure has dropped significantly. My last two readings were 98/78 and 100/72. I can't complain about that. I also had my cholesterol checked and it went from 226 prior to loosing any weight to 142. Can you believe it?!?!?!?! It is amazing. Now that I am feeling so much better I joined Curves and worked out Friday the 31st and today. They were closed Sat., Sun., and Mon. for Labor Day and I had 3 doctors appointments yesterday so I didn't get a chance to work out. I have to say that I love working out, so much in fact that my husband and I looked at Elliptical machines at Sears today. I told the salesman that I had to think about it, but I have to say that after eating dinner I am gung ho on buying one. I am going to beg my husband to go with me tomorrow after work and get one.

Tonight we dropped off 8 bags of clothes to the Salvation Army. Using their guide of low value dollar amounts I can get a tax write off of $748 already. I'm sure by the time the end of the year comes around I'll have more to donate. I went shopping the other day since I don't have any clothes that fit any more and bought at least 8 shirts. I love them it is so cool to be wearing an 18/20 on top and an 18 on the bottom. I just can't believe it. I also got a pair of size 16 capri's for the remaining hot days that we'll have this year. They were on clearance so I really couldn't go wrong.

I met with a new nutritionist last night and talked to her about what I had going on and how to ensure that I got enough protein in. I really miss the nutritionist that I met with before the surgery, but as she has moved on to bigger and better things I had to try out someone new. I think that she gave me so good information, I just was a little confused about food measurements should they be done by weight or volume. I still am not sure I got a straight answer, however I am definitely taking into consideration her comments and plan to work my butt of for the next 6 weeks until I see her again.

I'm now keeping a food diary that counts everything from calories to sodium to protein. Hopefully this will be a good tool for me to keep updating. I also will be keeping an exercise log on a daily basis to track the levels and time that I am working out. After I get data in them maybe I'll try to post an example for all to see.

I hope this finds everyone well and please, please feel free to comment or ask questions. I want to help anyone that I can :) Have a great night.....

My how times flies....

2007-08-14T19:44:00.001-05:00

I can't believe that it has been two months already. As of this morning I've lost a total of 61 pounds. Its hard to believe ;)

I've had my ups and downs, but things seem to be leveling off. I have my days when I'm tired and days when I am bouncing off the walls. I just need to find a happy medium so I can do everything that I need to do in a day. I have to start exercising!!! I need to walk every day and start going to the gym. I was doing pretty good until my iron levels dropped and then it took everything I had in me to try to put one foot in front of the other. Things are better and I am getting used to what I can eat and what I can't. I used to love eggplant, and now it is the most disgusting thing ever. I used to eat ham once in a while and now I can get enough. Its funny how things change.

In addition to walking and going to the gym I am going to try my best to get my water in every day and update my blog more often!!

A Long Couple of Weeks.....

2007-08-07T19:31:00.001-05:00

The title says it all. I've been unusually tired the last few weeks and really didn't have an answer why until this past Friday. I finally called Dr. Graber's office on Thursday afternoon and they told me to go right in and have my bloodwork done. I went and did it as soon as I left work. The office called me by 10am the next morning and told me that my iron levels were low and to start taking 325mg of iron per day. They said I would start to feel better in 4-5 days. Today is day 5 and I'm not nearly as tired as I was, but I have PMS so I'll have to wait another week or so to see the "real" results. I have an appointment with Dr. Graber's NP tomorrow at 9:45 and I'm very glad to be going in as I have a few questions and concerns. I'll definitely post tomorrow after my appointment.

I have officially lost 58 pounds. Woo Hoo!!! My next mini goal is 69 pounds which is my halfway mark!! I look forward to reaching that goal!!!

New Goals

2007-07-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

So I've been thinking about my goals for the next year or so and I need to update them a little in light of my goals and my doctors goals.....

Be at or below 200 lbs by Christmas (BMI=33.3)
Be at or below 169 lbs by June 2008 (BMI=28.1)
Make it to my goal weight of 145 lbs by October 2008 (BMI=24.1)

Dr. Graber determined that after 75% of excess weight is lost he'd like me to weigh in at 169. I'd like to take that a bit further and weigh in at 145!!! That would give me a NORMAL BMI of 24.1 down from my original MORBIDLY OBESE BMI of 47.1. I'm already down to a BMI of 38.2 which means I'm OBESE not MORBIDLY OBESE. Sounds good to me. At 179.5 I'll have a BMI of 29.9 which means I'll finally be OVERWEIGHT, not OBESE!!!

Woo Hoo..... Real Food

2007-07-29T20:09:00.000-05:00

So I'm on to real food. I'm really excited. I've tried ground beef, deli turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese sticks, protein bars, raspberries, granola.

Thursday night my husband and I went to my support group meeting and then went out to dinner. We went to the Outback Steakhouse that is nearby and I had a half order of Mum's chopped steak, minus the gravy. I only ate about a quarter of it and some mashed potatoes but it was awesome!!! Friday morning I had yogurt, granola and blueberries and I think that this is going to be my new favorite breakfast ever. I ended up having a half of a protein bar mid day as I was running around doing errands and I couldn't make it home. Its nice to know if I'm in a pinch that I can grab a Pure Protein bar which is very low in sugar 0-2gs per bar. Friday night I went out to dinner with some friends before going to see the musical "Menopause". I had a quarter of a turkey club. It was wonderful. Saturday was pretty uneventful we got home late and I had a very very small piece of a wheat crusted cheese pizza that my husband made for himself. It stopped the craving and I felt full and satisfied. I had the yogurt/granola w/raspberries to change it up a little for Sunday am. I stuck to packing my lunch since we went up to the farmhouse that we are renovating. I packed 2 slices of deli turkey, a cheese stick and 2 tbsp. of applesauce for lunch. It took me about 25 minutes to get through all of it but it set really well and I wasn't hungry again until about 7pm.

I just got back from my parents pool. I did a few laps and some arm exercises to help with the skin on my arms. I'm very paranoid about it and I want to make sure that I don't have "bat flaps." I ended up going to the gym on Friday morning and enjoyed it very much. I think that I'm going to try to go 3 times a week to see if that will work initially. I just have to figure out when will be a good time for me to go. I almost think that it may be a stress reliever if I end up going after work. I may end up wanting to go more as I end up with more energy but we'll have to see. My friend, Amanda, who has become my walking partner at work, will be back this week. I completely slacked this past week because I didn't have her as motivation as she was traveling for work. I figure if I can walk 30 minutes or more5 days a week and go to the gym 3 days a week it should help me in my effort to lose weight. I absent mindedly stepped on the scales on Saturday and ended up loosing another pound between Thursday morning and Saturday morning which brings me to a grand total of 53.5 pounds lost, 25.5 since my surgery on June 14th. I only have 29.5 pounds remaining to reach my Christmas 2007 goal. I hope that won't be a problem in the next 5 months :) It would be a great Christmas present to be less than 200 pounds..... its been 8 years since that was a reality.

So much for smooth sailing.....

2007-07-26T15:37:00.000-05:00

Well it finally happened. I ate too quickly at lunch yesterday and my pouch didn't like it at all!! Once all of what I ate was expelled I felt much better. I'm glad in a way that it happened so that I know what the feeling is like. I wouldn't recommend eating too fast though as I now know what happens!!! I think I'll keep it low key tonight with cottage cheese :)

As of today I've lost a grand total of 52.5 pounds since January 26th of this year. I'm very excited. I'm wearing clothes that I haven't worn in years. Matter of fact, I only have jeans down one more size before I have to go and actually buy something. I can wear my shirts for quite a while as it doesn't really matter if my shirts are big, its just a problem when my pants fall down.

I'm looking forward to the weekend as I have a wedding to go to. I bought a new outfit to wear to it. I also am going to see the musical "Menopause" with some of my friends that I quilt with. I have a cute outfit to wear that I got last year that was a little too tight then. It is a lime green sweater set and a pair of black capris. I think that will be okay to go to dinner and the musical.

It has been a long week. I have a support group meeting at 6:30 tonight that I'm looking forward to. I want to talk to others and see how they are doing. My husband is planning on going with me and we'll probably pick up something to eat while we are out. I'm glad that I have tomorrow off. I made an appointment to go to the gym tomorrow morning at 7am so that they can show me around. It is a gym that my ob/gyn owns and he gave me a free months pass. I just looked up the prices and this is what it is all about....

1 year plus membership (lump sum) $362
1 year plus membership (monthly payments) $447
1 month at a time plus membership (12 months) $567

I'll re-evaluate the cost after my one month free at the gym. I think after a month I'll have enough knowledge to make a determination.

I'll most likely bounce out of bed early as I am excited to go to the gym and then I have a hair appointment at 10:30. I'm not sure what I'll have done to my hair as I am in the mood for a change, but since my hair is short to begin with there isn't that much to play with. My hair dresser is awesome and she'll come up with something that I love. At least I won't waste a good hair day tomorrow as I'm going to dinner and the musical with my friends. :)

I'm planning on going to the gym at least 3 days a week. I'll probably try to go tomorrow and at 8am on Saturday so that I can do that before I have to go the wedding. I'll have to see what time the wedding is because I can't remember for the life of me. I'm going to have to make some time to go to the store as well since I can start adding more foods into my diet on Saturday plus I need a wedding card and also a black bra for Saturday. That should be really fun since I can't figure out what size I am.

I'll post tomorrow letting everyone know how I like the gym !!!

I just can't take it any longer

2007-07-17T20:04:00.001-05:00

I eat tuna, cottage cheese and baked beans as my sources of protein and I can't take it any longer. I broke down and go some boca burgers (mostly soy protein) and had a half of one for dinner. It was okay but at least it was sort of like meat. I also got some firm tofu to use in chili. I put 4 cans of beans, a can of diced tomatoes and a can of tomato sauce in with 1.5 pounds of tofu and chili seasoning in my crockpot hoping that it will make something different and tolerable for my stomach. It made a boatload of it so I will have to make sure that freeze some of it before it goes bad. I'm also hoping that my husband likes it as well so that I don't have to eat it for the next year.

I've found a walking partner at work. Everyday this week we have walked around the block at work twice. This equates to about a mile in 25 minutes. It is great to get out during the day and then I can count on getting my exercise out of the way before I get home in the evening. I need to keep working with my 2 lb weights everyday and the time will fly buy until I can go to the gym on or around August 9th!!!

I'm starting to come out of my slump. I ended up calling Dr. Graber's office on Monday as I had been tired all the time for nearly 2 weeks. As it turns out it corresponded with my monthly visitor and they said that my iron probably was low during my visitors duration. Now that I've moved on from that I seem to be having more and more energy.

I'm looking forward to continuing the journey. I have my ups and downs every week, but I am working through it. I can't believe that I have lost 46.5 pounds since January 26, 2007. I'm not that far from my first 50 pound loss!!

One Month Post-Op

2007-07-13T08:31:00.000-05:00

Well a lot has happened in the last month, ups and downs, good and bad. I am sorry? NO WAY!!!

I got on the scales this morning and even with my monthly visitor appearing I have lost 18.5 pounds since surgery. That is 18.5 pounds in about a month!!! Holy Cow!!!

I've been doing well on my diet and seem to be feeling okay. I've been extraordinarily tired this past week and a half, but today I feel like my energy is back. Woo Hoo! I'm making the promise to myself that I need to make sure that I walk at least 30 minutes a day and using my 2 lb weights until I can start working out at the gym the second week of August.

Yesterday was my 31st birthday. My husband took me to dinner and a movie. We went to Red Lobster for dinner and I had the half order of grilled Talapia w/ seasonal vegetables and mashed potatoes. I ate just a little less than half of my fish, the summer squash out of the vegetables and some of the mashed potatoes. It was very good. I even tried a little of one of the biscuits that they serve with dinner. I wasn't a big fish fan before, but it is growing on me as I can't eat any form of poultry or meat yet. We then went to see the new Harry Potter movie. It was really good. I had to laugh as it was over 2.5 hours long and I had to get up to go to the bathroom as I was sip, sip, sipping through it. :)

My awesome husband got me and iPod for my birthday so that I can now listen to my tunes while I am walking or working out. I'm really excited as I've wanted one since I started this whole process. I just have to figure out how to download music!!!

My parents are taking us to dinner tomorrow night and I already know that I am going to have some of the French Onion Soup. It is so awesome. I'm sure I will have some grilled or broiled fish as well, but the highlight will be the soup!!

I've become an avid cottage cheese and tuna fish person. I tend to always eat cottage cheese for breakfast and either tuna or baked beans for lunch. I don't do tuna everyday as a girl in the office is pregnant and it drives her insane when I eat it. She only works 3 days a week and the days she isn't there I always eat tuna :). I've got green beans and squash to make for my vegetables since I am all carroted out. I also had watermelon for the first time yesterday and it was wonderful!! I'm hanging in there, but boy will I be happy when I can slowly add in other things over time.

First Bad Day.......

2007-07-08T11:32:00.000-05:00

Well I had my first bad day on Friday. I tired and cranky!!! I was asleep by 6pm and didn't get up until 7:15 Saturday morning. Low and behold my monthly visitor showed up later in the day on Saturday. This in itself was really surprising as in the past when I haven't been taking Metformin to help with my insulin levels (and coincidentally make my cycles regular) I don't ever get my monthly visitor. Well even without taking the Metformin it showed up right on schedule..... My poor husband, I bit his head off for something Friday and I feel really bad about it now. I guess its just one of those adjustments to life after surgery.

I have to say this week I've felt fat, fatter than I have in a long time. I think it was probably just because I was bloated. I'm definitely beginning to feel better. I tried baked beans this morning as part of my new food regiment. My pouch really like them. Yesterday I tried egg salad and it was okay, but I definitely couldn't eat the 4 tbsp that I was aiming for. I'm up to the following:

Breakfast: 4 tbsp. protein; 1 tbsp. grain; 1 tbsp. fruit
Lunch: 4 tbsp. protein, 1 tbsp. fruit; 1 tbsp. vegetable
Dinner: 4 tbsp. protein, 1 tbsp. fruit; 1 tbsp. vegetable

This is going to be my menu for the next 3 weeks. I'm happy with it even though I feel like I am eating too much. I haven't been able to eat 6 tbsp. of food at a meal yet, but we'll see. I always eat my protein first. I'm sure I'll get there over the next 3 weeks.

My one month surgiversary is the 14th and I am looking forward to weighing myself then. Hopefully I'll have a little loss to report.

3 Week Post Op Appointment

2007-07-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

Well I had my 3 week post op appointment on Tuesday and everything looks great. They told me that after completing calculations the goal weight that they have in mind for me is 169. I told Dr. Graber's PA Laura Buschmann that I was looking to weigh about 145. She was completely fine with that for a personal goal. When I initially met with Dr. Graber he mentioned something about 130 pounds... that scared the crap right out of me. I'm much happier with 169/145. My blood work came back normal and she said I could take the Centrum Chewables rather than those nasty Flinstones vitamins I've been taking.

I went to the store tonight and got some carrots, green beans and acorn squash. I can start eating vegetables on Saturday and I am really excited about it. I also picked up 2 bananas and some eggs to make egg salad. While I was at the store I saw "The Bullet" mixer. I picked it up and will post after I've used it.

I'm trying to avoid becoming obsessed with the scale. My husband will laugh out loud when he reads this as he probably thinks I already am. I'm going to try to weigh myself on the 14th of every month as well as the days my support group meeting falls on. It will end up being about every 2 weeks. I figure that will give me an idea of how I'm doing.

While I was at the doctor's office I asked about working out at the gym. I was told I have to wait another 5 weeks and I can't lift anything over 5 lbs until then either. I know it is best for me to heal, but boy do I feel good and I don't like having limitations. I can at least swim and workout with two pound weights for my arms.

I have to say going back to work has been kicking my butt. I am so tired when I get home at night it is hard to do anything. I did go for a 15 minute walk while I was at work today and went about 1/2 a mile. Maybe tomorrow I will try to do 2 laps in a half an hour.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully it will be pretty quiet and relaxing.

Eggs, Toast, Crackers and Tuna

2007-07-01T21:05:00.000-05:00

These are my new favorite foods. I've just started my week 3 diet and am super excited. I've tried limited quantities of each of these foods and they seems to sit very well so far. I have to say I'm using Egg Beaters rather than real eggs as they keep for longer periods of time. My husband is thrilled with eggs for breakfast so he makes them for me :)

I went out to dinner for the first time on Friday night. My aunt and uncle came into town for a relatives birthday party and we went to a great restaurant on a local lake. I was lucky enough to have the broth from their french onion soup and a bit of a baked potato that I mashed w/ margarine. It was wonderful. I wish I could have them make me a vat of the broth and I would be a happy camper.

Saturday I went to a friend camp in the middle of no where. It really is about 30 minutes to anywhere and cell phone service. It was extremely quiet and relaxing. I worked on a quilting project and rested most of the day.

Today my husband and I went to see the movie "Ratatouille" and it was phenomenal. I loved every minute of it. We tried to stop by the jewelry store after the movie but they weren't opened on Sunday. I've decided (and my husband agreed) that I want to get a thin wedding band that I can wear with a ring guard as I get thinner. My wedding band and engagement ring are already too big and I don't want to have them sized until I reach my goal weight. I figure if something happened to my wedding rings I would be devastated so getting a new one for now seems to be the best option. After we came home from the movie my husband, the dog, and I went for a walk. We walked up to my parent's house on the other side of town. It took us about 30 minutes and I did just fine, not too fast, not too slow. Dr. Graber says I should be walking 30 minutes a day by the time I seem him on Tuesday and I don't think I will have a problem reaching that goal.

I'm getting used to packing my breakfast and lunch every time I leave. I tend to have everything laid out the night before so all I have to do is pack it in my insulated container in the morning. Tomorrow I will be up to 2 tbsp. of cottage cheese, yogurt, mashed potatoes, applesauce or oatmeal, plus 1 tbsp. of tuna, eggs, crackers or toast. I can't believe by the end of the week I'll be eating 4 tbsp. of food 3 times a day. It seems like it is an awful lot of food, but I'm following what the doctor says, I don't want to get yelled at!!! :) My parents are planning on taking me out to dinner for my birthday next week and it will be really cool that I'll have more items on my list that I can eat. I'll probably still start with that french onion soup, mmmmmm.

Tomorrow is my first full day back at work and I have to say that I am looking forward to it. I tend to be more structured with my eating and am able to get my water in easily. I'd like to keep pushing the fluids in case that is having any affect on my bowel movements which are few and far between.

Back to Work

2007-06-28T21:00:00.000-05:00

I went into work today and mad it a total of 6 hours. I didn't think that was too bad. I have tomorrow off and only have 4 days of work each of the next two weeks. It felt really good to be back at work as I was going stir crazy at home. I had to go back to get another vial of blood drawn today after I left work as they forgot a vial when I went in yesterday. I figured that it should be enough time for Dr. Graber's office to receive the results by my appointment on Tuesday, July 3rd.

I went to my 2nd Support Group Meeting and had a grand time. I met a bunch of different people and found out all of the quirky things I have been experiencing are NORMAL. The first thing that is normal is...I had to call the doctors on Tuesday as I hadn't had a bowel movement since the Thursday before. They suggested that I use Miralax 1 dose daily until things started to move. I finally had some movement today, but I not back to normal. The other thing that I found out is normal is when I stand up sometimes I get very lightheaded. That is just my body getting used to the way it works now.

I got on the scale this morning and have lost a total of 14 pounds since the surgery and 42 since I began the process. I'm very excited about how things are going. I went out to lunch with a good friend on Tuesday and had a side mashed potatoes. They were probably the best thing I've had since my surgery. I had lunch and dinner and threw out more than half of what I was given. I had to laugh, I was a cheap date $1.19 hehehehe

My aunt and uncle are coming into town this weekend. They haven't seen me in at least a month or better, I can't wait to see what they say. We are all going out to dinner tomorrow and I am very much looking forward to my mashed potatoes. My Father is stressing about them not having mashed potatoes and I told him not to worry, I can handle it. He is fixated on things not being right for me :)

Wow... The Scales Say....

2007-06-25T06:42:00.000-05:00

Well I finally bugged my husband enough to let me get the scales and weigh myself. We had agreed to wait until I went to Dr. Graber's, but I just couldn't wait that long. I got on the scales this morning and I have to say I was impressed. I have lost 12 pounds since the surgery. Holy crap. If I didn't see it myself I wouldn't have believed it. I've worked my way up to a tablespoon of food 3 times a day plus 2 protein shakes and seem to be handling it well. I've been sipping away on my water, but sometimes if I take a nap it makes it hard to get my water in.

I have now tried mashed potatoes, yogurt, cottage cheese and applesauce. I still have to try oatmeal, but that might be later today. They all seem to be agreeing with my pouch as I haven't had any major problems other than some minor gas.

I was toying with the idea of going back to work earlier than I planned, but I am thinking that might not be a good idea. I still am having to take a nap most days. I'll probably stick with my plan of Thursday.

Cottage Cheese, Applesauce, Mashed Potatoes....mmmmmmmmm good!!!

2007-06-23T18:53:00.000-05:00

Well today was my first day of eating some real food. I had a teaspoon of cottage cheese for breakfast, a teaspoon of applesauce for lunch and 1.5 teaspoons of mashed potatoes. I'm not sure that I've ever been happier having food before in my life!!! I need to work up to 2 tablespoons per meal by the end of the week so I figure that if I add a teaspoon per meal per day I'll be at 2 tablespoons by Thursday which coincidentally is the first day I plan on going into work. I'm thinking that I might talk to my husband and see what he thinks of me working a couple of half days this week prior to going back full time the week after. I'll see what he thinks!!

I made homemade mashed potatoes for dinner. I got a large baking potato and boiled it and then put it in the blender and add 2% milk (as that is what my husband had in the house) and some fudder (fake butter spray) and they didn't come out half bad, if I don't say so myself. Tomorrow I'll probably add some yogurt and maybe some oatmeal. I do have to say that I could probably live on cottage cheese and mashed potatoes, so I don't think that the next week will be too tough :)

So the other thing that has been going on is that I had an allergic reaction to the Dermabond (glue) that they used to seal my incisions. For the past 4 days they ahve been red, puffy and really itchy. After calling Dr. Graber's office and speaking with a nurse she told me to take Benadryl orally or use a Benadryl topical ointment to sooth the irritation. I had Benadryl Gel in the house and I tried that first. That really didn't cut the mustard... I then started taking 25mg of Benadryl every 4 hours until and that seemed to help. The next day I made another trip to Walmart and picked up Benadryl Cream to try that. Well I have to say the cream was the cats meow. It contained the same amount of the active anti-itch ingredient as the gel, but the cream had a skin protectant. That skin protectant helped out a great deal. I am now on my way not having an itchy stomach.... yeah!!!

I also went out by myself for a while today to visit my friends at the local quilt shop. I love to quilt and have developed many great friendships with my fellow quilters. It was just what I needed after being cooped up at home for a solid week by myself.

Bored Out of My Mind!!!

2007-06-20T14:41:00.000-05:00

I am so bored I can't stand it and I've got another week to go before I am planning on going back to work. I've got the pattern down of getting up at 7am (regardless of me wanting to, thanks to my husband), having my protein shake for breakfast (hey I'm up to 3.5 ounces 3 x day) waiting an hour to start drinking water and have my meds and vitamins, then watching television, taking a shower, wandering around the house, having my protein shake for lunch, waiting another hour for water, taking a stroll outside to the mailbox then watching more television and waiting for my husband to come home. I actually received a phone call from a friend today and talked for 20 minutes which was a great thing to spice up my day.

I have to give my husband credit, as miserable as I am in the morning he makes me get up at 7am whether I want to or not. He is right when he says that I need to stay on a schedule both for my food intake and my internal clock. I just don't look forward to it as I am NOT a morning person.

I haven't been walking too much as I don't want to go out by myself during the day in case I don't feel well and my house isn't really large enough to stroll around in. I do my best, but my husband and I try to walk outside for a bit when he gets home. He is very protective of my while I am healing so he won't let me do to much. I'm very much looking forward to walking more and possibly start using that free month at the local gym after I am cleared for it by the doctor. I'm thinking I might aim for starting Saturday the 7th if they are open.

I have to say the thing that I will miss the most when I go back to work is my darling Jack Russell, Sparks. He has diligently been my protector, confidant and snuggle buddy while I've been recovering. I wish I could take him to work with me, I'd certainly be more comfortable.

My new best friend is Gas-X. I have to say they weren't kidding about having a lot of gas after surgery. I've had to take at least 1 soft gel everyday. I haven't had to resort to taking 2 at a time yet, but I'm sure at some point I will have to.

As sad as this sounds I'm looking forward to going to Walmart in the next day or two to pick up some things I will need for next week: Cottage Cheese, Yogurt, Oatmeal, Mashed Potatoes, etc. I went to visit my parent's last night and had a good time. It tired me out, but I definitely needed to get out of the house.

Update from my trip to Walmart....

Walmart kicked my butt and handed it to me on a platter. I'm exhausted. Who would have ever thought a simple trip to the grocery store 6 days after surgery would have such an impact. I had to sit down a couple of times while I was shopping. Unreal!!

My 1st Good Day...

2007-06-18T17:09:00.000-05:00

Today was my first good day after surgery. I felt good enough to shave my legs when I was in the shower this morning and I didn't take a nap today either.

I'm up to 2.5 ounces of protein shake 3 times a day. I just finished my shake so I'll have to wait an hour before I can start drinking water again. I might actually have some juice later on and see how that goes. I'm really looking forward to seeing what every day brings.

I did a bunch of research today on low fat and low sugar yogurt, low fat cottage cheese, and oatmeal. The thing that I was most surprised about was the differences in the yogurt. I looked at organic yogurt and normal yogurt and I was truly surprised that in a fat and sugar aspect the regular run of the mill yogurt had less fat and sugar. I've been giving a lot of thought to organic eating and I think as I am going through this process that I will give it a shot. I'm sure I won't eat 100% organically as it would be too expensive, but I am going to give it the ol' college try.

The other decision that my husband and I decided is that we hid the scale. (He actually hid it so that I can't find it) We decided that my first weigh in will be at the doctor's office on July 3rd. That way it would be more dramatic and I don't have to deal with the ups and downs of getting the anesthesia out of my system.

The Details...

2007-06-16T15:20:00.001-05:00

The surgery went great. I went into surgery around 12:30 on Thursday and was in recovery for a couple of hours ( I think at least... I was a little hazy at that point). The first thing that I thought of was that I was alive and have made it through the hard part of having surgery. My husband was there when I got out of recovery and I was really happy to see him. I was in a room by myself for most of the night. I wasn't really in too much pain. I was glad for the Perkiest every 4 hours though. I was up and walking around the floor a few hours after surgery. My husband kept telling me that I was wearing him out, I know it was all in good humor, but boy did it feel good to get out of the bed. The only other funny thing that happened in the few hours after my surgery was that my bladder was shy. I always had someone standing outside of the bathroom door and I had to turn the water on to make me be able to go. I did laugh quite a few times about that.

I think I was a bit whinny as I didn't get more than 15 minutes of sleep at any time during the night. I ended up with a roommate at about 1am so I was up for quite a while with that. They had to keep checking my sugar levels as at one point they had spiked to 196 or so. I ended up getting Insulin (how IRONIC is that) at least 3 times, maybe more. Dr. Graber came in to see me after the surgery as well as in the morning. He was happy with how I was moving around and told me to take a shower. He thought that there was a good possibility that he would discharge me later in the afternoon. I was really really happy to hear that. I do have to say that taking a shower in the hospital was the best thing that I could ever have done. I let the hot water beat on my abdomen for a while and it helped reduce the muscle soreness and help relieve some of the gas. I was up walking around doing laps around the floor most of the afternoon prior to being discharged.

They released me about 4pm on Friday and I was thrilled. The main thing that I am having trouble with currently is the muscle soreness in my abdomen. I have 6 incisions from my belly button up to my sternum. I am only on Tylenol for pain and that is handling it very well.

I've made up for not sleeping really well I took 2 two hour naps yesterday after I got home and then slept from about Midnight to 7:30 am. I got up took some tylenol had 1 ounce of a protein shake and promptly went back to bed by 10am. I woke up about 1pm and have been doing well ever since. Since waking up at 1pm I am sip, sip, sipping on my 2nd 16.9 ounce bottle of water and I know how hard it will be to get 64 oz. per day in especially while I am sleeping and "eating" my protein shakes. I have to say the protein shake that I had this morning was heaven on earth. After not being able to have anything other than clear liquids since Monday morning at midnight it was totally AWESOME.

For fun and games I got on the scale this morning and I actually weigh one more pound than I did prior to surgery. It doesn't bother me at all. With all the fluids and medications that they were pushing I'm surprised it isn't more. I will go back to weighing myself once a week on Thursdays starting this coming Thursday June 21st.

Well I'm off to sip, sip, sip and walk, walk, walk.

I'm Home

2007-06-15T22:33:00.000-05:00

I'm home....

I exhausted and sore, but I am home. I got home about 4:30 or so and have taken a couple of naps. I'm looking forward to a good nights sleep. I just wanted to let everyone know I made it home. More later.....

The Day Has Finally Arrived....

2007-06-14T06:04:00.000-05:00

Well surgery day is here. I'm nervous, but that is to be expected. I figure that if anything bad happens my Grandfather will be waiting at the Pearly Gates to kick my butt back here :)

I got on the scales for my official weigh in and lost 12 lbs from last week to this week. I'm positive that some of that weight was water weight as my cycle interfered. Even if I go by my weight from June 4th I lost 8.5 pounds in two weeks. Holy Crap!!!!

I'm tired, nervous, excited, scared and ready to go. Its about 7:15 am and that would give me an hour and 15 minutes prior to having to leave for the hospital. My husband is in the shower and getting ready so maybe we'll head to Walmart prior to going to the surgery. He stopped at Walmart and picked up an electronic Sudoku game and when he got it home the top row and the far right column didn't work. He needs to take it back for another one. I'm hoping if he gets a new one that will keep him occupied for a few minutes while I'm in surgery.

Since I know he'll read this blog when he gets home tonight.... Honey, thank you for your support and love. You have made this whole process easier to deal with. Have some ice cream on me and toast to our long life ahead with lots of kids running around. ILYAAF

I'll post when I get home from the hospital.

The Countdown Has Begun....

2007-06-13T15:37:00.000-05:00

Well here I sit at 9am and only have 28 hours before my surgery. I'm at work and am wrapping things up for my 2 week "vacation". I decided that I will come back to work on Thursday, June 28th. I'll work that day and then have the 29th off as it is one of our Friday's off. I'll then work July 2nd and 3rd and have the 4th off for Independence Day. I'll work the 5th and 6th and then have the weekend off and then the following week I'll work the 9th through the 12th and have the 13th off as another Friday off. That way I will slowly work my way back into working full time. Something truly amazing happened this morning. I got on the scale and for the first time since we were married I weigh less than my husband does!!! Not that I think a liquid diet is the way to go, but I lost close to 5 pounds from yesterday morning to this morning. I'm very anxious for my official morning of surgery weigh in so that I can update my weight ticker.

Its now 10 am and I am exhausted. I could curl up and go to sleep under my desk. I'm so ready to just have the surgery so I can go to sleep and work my way back to at least protein shakes. I think the no protein is making the biggest difference. I'm also freezing cold, I'd love a big blanket right now!!!

So it is about noon and I'm doing okay. My comprehension level is way down today so hopefully I didn't mess up anything too bad that I've worked on today. I'm hanging in there as I only have about 25 hours left or so. I think once I get settled in at the hospital tomorrow I will be a happy camper, especially with the Valium. I am still tired and sitting at a computer so the two don't really mix. I'm relatively calm currently and hope that this frame of mind continues.

So much for okay. It is now about 1:30 and I am just completely done. I'm tired, I'm getting cranky and I just want to get this done. NOW!!! I'm pretty much set for tomorrow... I just have to get a bag out to put my stuff in. I have to program numbers into my husband's cell phone tonight too so that he knows who to call. I have a few friends and co-workers that would like to hear how things went. The dog was stuck to me this morning so I'm beginning to think that he is more human than dog.... He is definitely concerned. He wanted to go upstairs with me this morning rather than going outside and that never happens. I ended up taking him out so that he would do his business and he dragged me to the cars and was pacing between the doors looking at me like take me with you (and he hates riding in the car). He'll be fine and so will I, it just breaks my heart that I can't explain to him what is going on.

Its only a half an hour later (2pm) but I am feeling somewhat energized. No idea why, but I'm not going to ask. I'm still really looking forward to going home at 4:30 today. I just want to vegetate tonight and do a few odds n ends.

So I am now at 3pm and not giving a crap about much. I'd really like to pack up my things and leave work, but I will try to wait until at least 4pm. I'm definitely still tired and I think the adrenaline of my impending surgery is the only thing getting me through. It definitely isn't sugar that's for sure!!! I'm really looking forward to curling up on the couch with the dog and watching some television when I get home. Quiet time would be good. I've only had water today as nothing else sounds good. I've managed to drink 101 oz. so far today. I think it is because its a habit now to drink instead of eat :)

I've now managed to make it to 3:45 and am planning on leaving at 4pm. I have a date with my couch and dog when I get home. I'm very happy to be having this surgery and I can't wait until I get home after it to start my "new" life.

I did leave at 4pm and I am home now sitting in "my" recliner. I use the term "my" loosely as my dog, a wonderful 16 lb. Jack Russell Terrier, has staked his claim in it... oh well he'll have to learn to share for the next two weeks! I have laundry going as I want to have it all done and put away before I leave for the hospital tomorrow. The nice thing is that I don' t have any dishes to do as I'm not eating anything and my husband tends to eat else were so I don't have to smell it or see it. I have all my stuffed packed for my hospital stay with the exception of my pillow that I'll be taking. Since it a long skinny pillow I have to wash the pillow case tonight as I only made one pillow case for it. Who needs a bunch of long skinny pillow cases?!?!?!?

So I'm now winding down for the day. Its about 7:30pm and I'm getting ready to take a bath and go to bed. I probably won't go to sleep immediately, but I'll watch some television. I had another bottle of water and some jello a little while ago. I'll probably have some more water before I go to be so that I don't feel like I am dehydrated tomorrow. I have to say I am really excited, but I am getting a little nervous. I just hope that all goes well and that I become the healthy person that I want to be. My husband has been running around since he left work doing odds n ends, but right now I just need a hug and him to tell me everything will be okay. Hopefully he'll be home soon and be able to do that for me. I have a load of laundry in the dryer and one in the washer. The only thing that is left after those two loads are a few towels. I'm sure my husband can throw those in later when he gets home. I'll make sure I update my weight ticker prior to leaving tomorrow for the hospital.

Wow... Wow... WOW!!!!

2007-06-12T19:25:00.000-05:00

Only 2 days before my surgery. Actually less than that since it is 8:30 pm and my surgery is at 1pm Thursday. So its more like 40.5 hours, not that I'm counting :)

I made it through my second day of liquid diet and I seem to be loosing weight at a tremendous rate. From this morning when I weighed myself until I got home tonight I dropped 2 pounds. That could potentially be part of why I don't feel so good. So I will update my weight on Thursday morning prior to my surgery for my "official" pre-op weight at home.

I went to visit some friends from my quilting circle tonight and had a great time. It definitely took my mind off of eating. However, I'm now at the point that I could give a crap less about food. If I don't eat when I am hungry I usually end up not wanting food at all and that seems to be what is happening now. At work today some of the girls were eating lunch and the thought of even eating anything really made me not feel so hot. I drank a ton of water today and had some jello and popsicles as the bouillon didn't sit well yesterday. I think I am coping really well with not eating.... I haven't cried yet and that is a really good sign.

I've started packing things for the hospital. I have all my personal items (soap, shampoo, deodorant...) and a couple pairs of socks (my feet are always cold) as well as a bathrobe that I can just toss on over my hospital gown. I even have a pair of flip flops to wear while I am pacing the halls!!! I have nice comfy clothes picked out to wear to the hospital and home from it. The only other thing that I really want to take with me is my pillow. I have neck issues and my own pillow will probably help a bunch. I know it will be here soon enough, but man am I anxious and excited!!!

OMG.... I'm Approved :)

2007-06-11T18:49:00.000-05:00

Well my phone rang at work at 9am sharp this morning. It was Katie telling me that Aetna approved my surgery. I am so excited I can't even express it in words. I am just thrilled that it went through without a hitch. I was so happy that I sent flowers to Katie with my sincere thanks!!

I started my liquid diet today and am doing okay for now. I have plenty of water, juice, jello and popsicles to get me through the next 3 days. Its about 7:45pm and I survived day one of my liquid diet. I have a slight headache and am a little less spunky than normal but I will make it through. At least I know I won't be dehydrated after 7-16.9 oz bottles of water, 3-6 oz cups of cranberry-raspberry juice (sweetened with splenda), 1-12 oz cup of bouillon and 1 popsicle. I think the hardest part is going to be that I can't drink anything after midnight on the day of surgery and my surgery isn't until about 1pm.

I think that I am going to fall into bed tonight with all the excitement and lack of nourishment.

Bye Bye Food

2007-06-10T11:44:00.000-05:00

So I sit here less than 12 hours from starting my liquid diet and am a nervous wreck. I had a protein shake for breakfast since nothing else sounded good and I'm worried about what I want for dinner as it is my last "real" meal for a few weeks. I have much to do today but I just want to be left alone and hibernate for the day. I've successfully managed to hide in the basement for the first part of the day and am planning on going back down there to watch "Flushed Away." I started watching the movie around Easter time but have not gotten back to how it ends. I figure if I watch a movie I'll be able to procrastinate for a few more hours.

I need to finish odds n ends cleaning between now and Thursday and go to the store to pick up a few things for my liquid diet today. I need some Sugar Free Jello and Popsicles as well as Oatmeal, Soy Milk and Chapstick. I can't forget a new thing of chapstick for my hospital stay.

I'm nervous, paranoid, excited, and anxious all rolled into one. I'm feeling confident that Aetna will approve my surgery, but I still haven't heard the official ruling. 4 Days and Counting!!!
_________________

Well I did make some progress today. I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom so that they are spotless. I managed to go to Walmart and pick up some last minute items... SF Popsicles, SF Jello and some Low Sugar Soy Milk for after the surgery. I have read through my instructions for the next 3 days as well as for the weeks after surgery and I can tell you that I am thrilled that the information is as detailed as it is and that I have a copy in paper form for when I have questions. I have 3 days of work before my surgery and have to be on a liquid diet from now until then. I hope that I can keep busy and not think about food!!! I'll be drinking juice, water, bouillon and eating SF Jello and SF Popsicles. It could be worse I've heard of doctors making patients be on a liquid diet for 2 or 4 weeks prior to surgery. I can handle 3 days!!!!

On to the pile of laundry calling my name!!!

Slowly But Surely.....

2007-06-08T15:51:00.000-05:00

Yeah!!! I was fat enough 5 years ago. I heard this morning from Katie at Dr. Graber's office that my weight history came in via fax from my endocrinologist. In February 2003 I weighed 257 pounds which would give me a BMI of 42.7 which is above the 40 BMI requirement by Aetna. She said that she faxed the info to Aetna at 8:15 this morning and wrote urgent all over it. We're hoping that we hear something soon since there are only 3 business days before my surgery. I'm excited and nervous all rolled into one!!

I called Katie a little while ago and she confirmed that Aetna had received all their required paperwork and that it had been forwarded on to Aetna's medical examiner. Katie was hoping to hear something before 5pm or first thing Monday morning. Keep your fingers crossed!!

ONE WEEK!!!

2007-06-07T15:50:00.000-05:00

Nothing major to update today. I tried to call Katie at Dr. Graber's office but apparently she only works Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I told them I would call back tomorrow to see if she had gotten my info from my endocrinologist's office. I'm still very nervous about getting the approval but I have come to the realization that I can't really do anything about it so I am just along for the ride. Hopefully it will be a smooth one!!

Holy Crap.... 8 DAYS LEFT

2007-06-06T19:29:00.000-05:00

Well 8 Days left before my surgery. I got in touch with Dr. Graber's office today and asked if they thought I was going to have to reschedule my surgery again as my insurance company hadn't rendered their decision yet. When I was talking to Katie, their insurance rep, she mentioned that she heard from Aetna and that the only thing missing was my 5 year weight history. I thought hell would freeze over before I wished I had been fat for long enough, but I did wish that today. (I hope that my weight was high enough 5 years ago to qualify for surgery as apparently I have everything else necessary.) I told Katie I would call my endocrinologist and see if they would fax over the information today. I checked back at 2pm and Katie still hadn't received the weight history so I called back my endocrinologist and basically begged them to send it over. I explained the situation again that I was scheduled for surgery next week and I really needed to get the info to Aetna so that they would hopefully approve my surgery. I was in meetings the rest of the afternoon so I wasn't able the call Katie again to see if she had received the info or not. I will try to call her first thing in the morning. I am anxious to get the answer as I don't want to have to start my three day liquid diet on Monday and then have to do it again later if the insurance company doesn't get their required info in time.

On a different note I have been trying to make up 9 hours of work time during the current pay period for the day I have my surgery so that I don't have to use all of my vacation time. As of the time I left today I only have 15 minutes left to make up. I'll try to get that done tomorrow so that I don't have to worry about making up any more time prior to my surgery.

I'm also getting anxious about telling my friends. I just had a friend invite me to go to lunch with her on June 23rd.... 9 days after my surgery and I'm not sure how to handle it. I told her that I would have to see if my husband had anything planned for us that weekend. I'm afraid of people's opinions of me having the surgery. Not that I will let that sway me in any way about having the surgery, but it will become an issue post-op. I just hope the are accepting of my decision.

No News Is Good News?

2007-06-04T18:34:00.000-05:00

That is what I keep trying to tell myself. I am more nervous about getting insurance approval than I am about the surgery. I asked my husband to read through my insurance company's requirements for surgery and he confirmed that I had met all of them. I guess with my surgery scheduled for only 10 days away I am really nervous. That is only 8 more business days for them to approve the surgery. I'm not sure how long ago the insurance company received my info from Dr. Graber's office so I guess all I can do is wait. My plan is to call Dr. Graber's office on Friday if I haven't heard anything to see how they would like me to proceed. I have to start my 3 day liquid diet on Monday and I would rather not get through the 3 days and be told that I can't have the surgery. I am really excited about this next chapter of my life and I want to get on with it!!!

Another Weekend Gone By....

2007-06-03T15:49:00.000-05:00

I've been on a dead run since Friday morning. I managed to get all my errands done and made up some time at work for the day of my surgery. I have enough vacation time, but I'd rather not end up using all of it while I am recovering. I'd like to have a little bit in reserve. I've managed to help my husband a little bit every day with construction at our farmhouse too.

Its hard to believe that I have 11 days left before my surgery, soon I'll be down to single digits!!

My husband took me to a movie and dinner on Friday. That was a really nice surprise. We saw Shrek the Third and I loved every minute of it. We had a nice dinner too. He's a keeper :)

Its hard to believe how much I have left to do before my surgery and how much I have done already. I'll just keep whittling away at it.

Woo Hoo.... Next Step: SURGERY

2007-05-31T19:31:00.000-05:00

I went and got weighed in this morning before my Pre-Admission Testing and I lost 6.2 pounds since my last official weigh in on May 2nd!!! I am ecstatic!! I then went over for my Pre-Admission Testing which included taking some blood and going over my medical history. They decided that I would be getting some Valium prior to my surgery so that my blood pressure doesn't rise from anxiety. They took my blood pressure and it was 120/80 which was okay. It has steadily been going down since I started loosing weight. My grand total of weight lost from when I started this whole process is 19.5 pounds. I was hoping for a full 20 lbs. by my Pre-Admission testing but that didn't happen. I am not too disappointed, but it would have been nice.

Dr. Graber's office said their insurance person would call me as soon as they heard anything. I have 14 days before my surgery. I have 9 business days before my surgery. I hope that the insurance company comes through!!

16 Days!!!!

2007-05-29T19:41:00.000-05:00

So I am now down to 16 days prior to my surgery. I am absolutely ecstatic, however I am very nervous about the insurance approval that is necessary for the surgery. I'm afraid that they are going to have some sort of problem and won't approve it. I'm not sure what I would do if I get turned down. Its very nerve racking.

I've been working diligently on my house cleaning before my surgery. I cleaned out my kitchen pantry last night and sorted through everything that was in there. I was able to put many of my serving dishes in the pantry/closet as I was running out of cupboard space. I have to finish going through my cupboards tonight and my kitchen will be done :) I picked up a new vacuum cleaner over the weekend, a Dyson Animal DC-15. I absolutely love it. It works phenomenally. I used is very lightly last night, but I have some serious vacuuming to do tonight/tomorrow so I will definitely post about that.

I stopped at Walmart tonight and got Juice, Bouillon, Applesauce, Oatmeal and Baby Spoons. These are just a few of the things that I need for before/after surgery. I figure that every little bit helps. I'll have to get some cottage cheese, yogurt and potatoes as the surgery gets closer.

Today wasn't such a good day at work, but I survived. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to interact with anyone, but that isn't likely to happen. I again have a laundry list of things that I need to do tonight, so I better get cracking!!

Memorial Day Weekend

2007-05-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness that I have Monday off for Memorial Day. I'm still trying to get over this stupid head cold. I haven't walked on the treadmill in a week and it is seriously bothering me. I'm going to try to walk tomorrow for at least 30 minutes and we'll see how that goes. I'm making dinner for my husband and parents tomorrow. Here's the menu:

Tomato w/ Fresh Mozzarella and Baguette Bread
BBQ Chicken
Corn on the Cob
Baked Beans
Greek Orzo Salad

Either a Chocolate Mint Pie (if my dear husband is to tired to make me pie crusts in the am) or a homemade rhubarb pie!!!

I'm sure it won't be the healthiest meal ever, but I will watch my portions.

Have a great holiday weekend!!

My 1st Support Group Meeting

2007-05-24T19:25:00.001-05:00

I just got home from my first support group meeting held at the St. Lukes Home in Utica. Tracey the facilitator is a nurse on the Bariatric Surgery floor and a post-op patient herself. It was great to meet people who have or will go through with the sugery. There was one gentleman there who had surgery 3 weeks ago and lost 40 pounds already... I almost fell off my chair with that surprise. It was quite evident that people loose at different rates and ways. I also met Mary, another pre-op patient, who's surgery is scheduled the same day as mine. I gave her a hug before I left and hopefully we'll see each other after our surgeries. I feel less anxiety but more excitement after visiting with other patients.

I've come up with some goals for myself.

Be at or below 200 lbs by Christmas 2007
Be at or below 160 lbs by July 2008
Be at or below 130 lbs by October 2008

I hope that these goals are realistic and not a pipe dream. I look forward to obtaining them.....

Still Hanging In There

2007-05-23T18:44:00.000-05:00

I'm still battling a head cold that has knocked me on my butt since Friday. I haven't been able to walk on the treadmill which is killing me. I went to my PCP for a pre-op exam and EKG today and everything was normal. Yippee!! One more thing that I don't have to worry about prior to surgery. Dr. Graber's office can officially send my info into my insurance company as soon as they get the official results of my exam from my PCP. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Oh Well.... 24 Days and Counting

2007-05-21T16:55:00.001-05:00

Well my surgery was rescheduled for June 14th, exactly one week later than originally planned to build in a little time for the insurance company to get back to Dr. Graber's office. I will be keeping my appointments for my PCP Exam w/EKG and my Pre-Admission Testing. I'm still recovering from a head cold so I haven't been as active as normal as far as walking, but you better bet as soon as I can breathe I will be walking again.

OMG... 18 Days

2007-05-20T20:02:00.000-05:00

Wow, 18 days... It doesn't seem real. Well it has been a quiet weekend here, I'm nursing a head cold that has made me a little cranky (I'm sure my husband will laugh out loud when he reads that) and tired. I'm just trying to make sure that I get everything done and I am healthy for surgery. I managed to finish going through all of my clothing and put it in bags so that as I get smaller I have clothes to wear. I found some really, really cute capri's that I forgot that I had. We'll see how far I get with the clothes that I have. I have the guest bedroom bedding stripped and partly washed, so that should be done by tomorrow night. I'll just have to clean the toilet and sink and that room(s) will be done completely. The next thing on my list is my cupboards and pantry in the kitchen. I'll go through all of that during the week and organize everything. After that I just have to finish cleaning the rest of the kitchen, the bathroom and linen closet and and the living room upstairs. I'll try to clean my quilting room out, but that might be the last thing on the list as I can shut the door. I definitely have to clean the family room in the basement as well as the laundry room/mud room. As long as I'm on the road to recovery from this head cold I think that it is a reasonable plan to have it done by the end of next weekend. My mother informed us that she will be there for my surgery and my father asked if I wanted him there, I told him that if he'd like to come he is more than welcome, but he doesn't have to be there as my husband and his wife will be there. You never know, he will probably be there too :)

Back from Docs

2007-05-18T10:48:00.000-05:00

Well I just got back from the doctor's office and for the first time in my life I was excited to get on their scales. I weighed 269.6 fully clothed. That is .3 pounds less than what Dr. Graber's scale said on 5-2-07. At least I know that I'm still on a downward trend. The doctor seemed concerned that I was having the surgery and was adamant that I do more than just walk after the surgery. He told me I had to do weight training or my body would not look like I wanted it to. I told him that I understood what he was saying, but I don't think he really thought that I did. Well I have news for him, when I see him next year I will be skinny and toned :) He was nice enough to give me a free membership to his gym for one month after my surgery. He said that way I could try it out and see how I liked it. I'm game for it. After I am cleared for exercise following the surgery you better bet that I will try it out.

I'm off to start my pre-op cleaning and organizing. I'll post later after I have walked.

A Long Week

2007-05-17T20:11:00.000-05:00

This week seems to have dragged by. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off. I may complain about working 9 hours a day, but boy is that 2nd Friday of the pay period a blessing in disguise. I have doctor's appointment tomorrow, for once it is just a regular doctor's appointment, nothing to do with my surgery. Hopefully I will be in and out and on to what ever the day brings.

I went out to dinner with my husband tonight. I was relatively good, I use the word relatively because I did have a fair amount of bread with dinner, but I did have a grilled chicken salad for my entree. It was wonderful.

I came home and wanted to crash, but my loving (and pushy) husband made me get on the treadmill. I just got out of the shower after walking 1.3 miles. I'm glad I did. It made me feel much better. The walking must be helping since I weighed myself this morning and was down 3.5 pounds since last Thursday. I'm sure some of it was water weight, but I don't care!!

When I went to the nutritionist she recommended a soy based protein shake or Atkins Advantage Shakes. I figured I better see what I was getting myself into. I bought a pack of the Atkins Advantage Shakes in Chocolate yesterday and I tried one last night. It was tolerable, but it sure wasn't good :( A co-worker's husband had the surgery a year ago and recommended Unjury. Apparently it is very tolerable and they have an unflavored one that you can mix with yogurt, potatoes, pudding, etc. so you can ensure that you are getting enough protein. I ordered some last night. I'll share my opinion after I have tried it.

TTFN

Woo Hoo... 22 Days and Counting

2007-05-16T18:30:00.000-05:00

I just got done walking 1.3 miles. I got home from work and some errands and I made sure I walked on the treadmill before 10pm, like I stupidly did last night. I actually had a good time walking as I got to watch Sunday nights episode of Brothers & Sisters. When I was done I jumped in the shower and now I am bouncing off of walls. I have a few more things that I want to do tonight so I think I am on a role.

I decided that even though I am not required to loose 5% of my weight before surgery I am going to try my best. I want to make it to 263 before my next weigh in on May 31st. I'm not sure how far I have to go as my personal weigh-in is on Thursday morning right after I get out of bed. I'll post it first thing tomorrow night to see how I'm doing. I've vowed to:
*Walk at least a mile every night
*To eat only breakfast, lunch and dinner. (No snacking)
*Drink at least 64 oz. of water a day.

I figure if I can do that I'll be on my way to my 5% loss by the 31st!!

Another Boring Day

2007-05-15T21:21:00.000-05:00

Not too much new today. I forced myself to walk a mile. I did it in 22 minutes and it took every bit of will power I had. I've had a very lazy two days this week, but I've pushed myself to exercise. I did start going through my jeans today. I have at least 2 pairs of jeans that fit now down to a size 20. I'm hoping that they will get me through the summer. I've already made a deal with myself that I will use what I have until I get below a 20 and then I will buy a pair of jeans when I need them and only if the ones I have are hanging off of me. I don't want to spend too much money on clothes that I probably won't wear again. I figure a pair of jean at Walmart every couple of sizes won't break the bank too much. Thank goodness we can wear jeans to work otherwise I'd be SOL!!! I'm still trying to convince my husband what once I get to my goal weight that I'd like to go to Cabelas to go shopping for lots of new clothes..... Maybe when he realizes how good I plan on looking he'll agree to it. 23 Days and counting!!!

Longest Day on Record

2007-05-14T20:17:00.000-05:00

Wow, have you ever felt like no matter what you accomplish that the day is just never going to end? I had one of those days today. I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning and didn't get into work until 7:30. I then proceeded to take almost a 2 hour lunch and leave after 7 hours to take my husband to get his truck at the repair shop. I then went to dinner with a friend and seemed to be on a dead run all day long. I wanted to walk when I got home today but I was exhausted. I compromised (and pushed myself) to walk 2/3 of a mile in 14 minutes. I pushed myself hard to do it and felt my legs burning. I didn't walk yesterday like I had planned as I was really sore from my hike on Saturday. It was only on the road, but it was uphill for the first 3/4 of a mile. It really make me realize how out of shape that I am.

I am going to try to get up and go into work early tomorrow so that I can catch up on the 2 hours I was missing today. Working 9 hour days is hard if you have to take any time off as it makes it difficult to make up time, however that Friday we have off every other week is AWESOME!! It is a busy week at work so I am hoping that I can get done everything that I need to do.

I am making myself a promise for tomorrow. I will come directly home after work and walk at least a half an hour and then starting working on my cleaning. I've had the intention to start cleaning just not the time. Oh well, it is time for me to MAKE the time!!

Beautiful Weekend....

2007-05-13T17:44:00.000-05:00

I was a gorgeous weekend!! I went for a walk yesterday and walked 1.5 miles in 29 minutes. I walked to the end of the road (uphill) and back. It was about a 3 mph pace so I was really proud of myself. I really enjoyed the walk! It was in the mid 60's and breezy.

I'm planning on walking on the treadmill tonight. I'll see how far I get in 30 minutes. My goal is by the time that we move into our farmhouse this summer that I can walk down the hill and all the way to the top of the hill and back to the farmhouse. I'm hoping that I can do that by Labor Day!! We stopped at Lowe's today and I picked out paint colors for the bedroom, bathroom, living room and the foyer at the farm. It isn't ready for paint yet, but it will be soon.

I made a quilted bag for my Mother for Mother's Day and she really liked it. It was a marathon to get it done! I started yesterday morning and worked on it until 11pm last night, then I got up and started working on it again today. I finished it up about 1pm and took that, flowers and a card to my Mother. We happened to wake her up from her nap, but I think she enjoyed the surprise.

I have to start working on my cleaning before the surgery. I only have 25 days left. I'll get my butt moving this week. I have Friday off and only have a quick doctor's appointment in the morning. I plan on spending all day Friday and probably Sunday working on the house to get things accomplished.

I've noticed that my blog seems to be having more visitors. I hope that is true and that I am helping someone else out with their journey. Best wishes to everyone :)

Holy Cow....

2007-05-11T20:42:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that there are only 27 days before my surgery, it is just unbelievable. I found out that a co-worker's husband had the surgery and she has been a wealth of knowledge about things that worked for him. I am getting really excited about this next chapter of my life. I can't wait to be healthy enough to have children. To think that in about two years I could be pregnant with my first child is awesome.

My husband and I went out with friends for dinner tonight. They took us to a great Korean place. They lived in Korea for 3 years or so and loved the food. They found this place and raved about it. It was great to try something new. I think that I probably could actually eat there again after surgery. Obviously it would take some time before I was ready but it might actually work! :)

I am still having doubts about telling people. I have only told my parents, aunt & uncle and a few chosen co-workers that can support me when I return to work. I have a serious doubt about telling my close friends one because she probably won't agree and the other because she has more important things on her mind (shhh!! she's pregnant) The one that is pregnant would definitely support me, the other one is a crap shoot. I guess I don't want to worry about having negative vibes going on prior to surgery.

I am going to my first support group meeting on the 24th. One of my friends that has had the surgery is going to go with me so that I don't have to go alone my first time. They are always the 4th Thursday of every month and have added them to my calendar for the rest of the year, with the exception of November because the 4th Thursday is Thanksgiving and December as I am not sure if they would have a meeting the week of Christmas. I am going to make an effort to attend every meeting i n the next year and maybe convince my husband to go to a few!

I have so much to do before the surgery. I have to clean, clean, clean. I am going to start working on that on Sunday. Tomorrow I have to start and hopefully finish the gift I am making my mother for Mother's Day. When Sunday rolls around I will follow the list of chores that need to be done in the next 4 weeks and I plan on completing everything!!!

Psych Eval.... Done!!!

2007-05-07T17:17:00.000-05:00

I had my psych eval today and passed with flying colors. I was given a prescription that I dropped off at Dr. Graber's office today that I was psychologically approved for surgery. I didn't really think that I wouldn't be approved, but as always it is nerve racking waiting for the words to be spoken. Things seem to be going fine. The next thing that I have scheduled is my PCP physical with the EKG on the 23rd. I'm not really worried about that. I think that should be a breeze.

I'm really tired today, I'm not sure if it is the day or the psychological stress of having to pass a psych evaluation. Anyhow I'm home and relaxing in a quiet house. I ate dinner and ate too much. I should know better than to eat too much as I don't feel very good after it. I made homemade meatballs yesterday so I had some leftovers for dinner. I definitely didn't eat as much as I could have in the past, but I am stuffed silly right now.

My surgery is 1 MONTH from today!!!!

Huge Day for Me

2007-05-02T20:14:00.000-05:00

I had a great day today. I was weighed in at 9am this morning and lost another 2.3 Pounds!! Woo Hoo!! I just met with the nurse this morning and she confirmed that I was still scheduled for surgery on June 7th. She told me that I wouldn't meet with Dr. Graber again unless I wanted to prior to surgery. I'm scheduled for my next weigh in on May 31st just before my Pre-Admission Testing. I'm pretty comfortable with the procedure and what to expect. I have a great support group of friends who have been through the surgery and a wonderful supportive husband and family. I then went to meet with the Nutritionist, Christa, at 10am. She is wonderful and was very helpful. Many of my questions and concerns were addressed and I am so much more comfortable than I was before. I met with the exercise consultant at 1pm and was informed of what I should do prior to surgery and after. It was a group meeting so I didn't really feel like I made the connection with the consultant like I did with Christa. I am okay with this exercise part. I was more interested in the Nutrition part of it anyway.

I have a few personal goals before surgery:
*Loose more weight
*Walk on the treadmill 30 minutes 5 days a week
*Eat Slower and chew each bite 20 times
*Learn to not drink 3o minutes before and 45 minutes after eating

I'll do my best and that is all I can ask for. As for general goals before surgery. CLEAN my house from top to bottom. I have 1 month and 5 days so I better get cracking!!!

Hanging In There.....

2007-04-29T18:47:00.000-05:00

Time is slowly going by in some respects yet in others it is going by in leaps and bounds. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was getting weighed in at Dr. Graber's office. I am going on Wednesday for my Weigh-In, Exercise Consultation and Nutrition Consultation. I'm hoping that I stayed that my weight either stayed the same of went down. I'm not sure how that will go. I don't feel like I've lost any more. I've been being good for the most part, I snack here and there and have dessert once in a while. Overall I am eating much less than I ever have and am drinking at least 64 oz. of water a day. The next two days I will be extremely strict. I'll have a cheese stick and 2 crackers for breakfast, a frozen lunch and at dinner I'll either have a frozen dinner or a small helping of what I make my husband for dinner. I'm thinking I might splurge on Wednesday night after my doctor's appointments and make spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic bread. I'm sure my husband will love it!! I won't snack at all in between my meals for the next couple of days and I will continue to push the water in hopes that I might pull off loosing a half a pound or so.

I'm very excited to hear what the Nutritionist and the Exercise Consultant have to say. My husband is taking time off of work to go with me. My weigh in is at 9am, my appointment with the Nutritionist is at 10am and my appointment with the Exercise Consultant is at 1pm. When I have completed my appointments I am going to go do something that I want to do so that I can digest the information that I receive.

Last month I had three goals for April. Unfortunately I have accomplished only 1 of those. I am successfully changed my drug of choice to Tylenol and have not had to use it very often at all. I need to start walking 6 to 7 times a week and learn to not drink with my meals. I'm hoping that my husband will help me with that.

I'm getting closer and closer to surgery and I've panicked a couple of times, but I know it is what I need to do for myself. I want to be healthy, have children and live a long life!!

Control... Will Power... Where are you?

2007-04-20T06:20:00.000-05:00

Getting back on track is the hard part. After being out of town last weekend and the weekend before my eating habits go a little out of control. My will power is starting to take back over again. I can honestly say that I haven't even really thought about soda, so at least on that track I am doing great. I have to get back to the following:

Cheese Stick w/ 2 Crackers for Breakfast
Lean Cuisine, Smart Ones or Healthy Choice Entree for Lunch
Yoplait Light Thick N Creamy Yogurt for a Snack
Lean Cuisine, Smart Ones or Healthy Choice Entree for Dinner

I'm definitely going to get back on track. I have the entire weekend to get my butt back into gear to eat well and start exercising on a daily basis. I've been much more active than I was, but I need to be structured.

Wow, Another Week Gone By

2007-04-17T20:04:00.000-05:00

Another week has gone by!!! I can't believe it. I got home from Connecticut last week got back into the swing of things and had lost on my scale another half a pound. Things were going well other than being really busy getting ready for the next weekend's trip with the girls to Lancaster, PA for the Quilter's Heritage Celebration. It was a grand time!!! We took a bus to Lancaster and shopped until we dropped, literally. I don't know if I have ever had so much fun before on a trip of any sort. I got home on Sunday totally exhausted, but in a great mood.

The next thing that happened was at 2am my cell phone rang. My former horse, who my trainers now own, had her baby!! A beautiful filly!! Mom and baby are fine. I feel bad that my husband was awakened by the phone, but I am really glad that they called. I looked outside after I got of the phone and the ground was covered in that ugly white stuff that the Nor'easter dropped on us. My husband woke me up at 4:45 and told me that if I wanted a ride to work I needed to get up then. I took one look outside and got my butt moving. I sure didn't want to mess with nasty weather conditions!!!

Monday was pretty uneventful. I was getting myself back on track food wise after being out of town for the weekend, things were okay all day until I had leftover pizza for dinner and a piece of Shoofly Pie. While I was in Lancaster I got a 6" pie at a bakery. I have always wanted to try it and I can finally say I did. I actually liked it very much!!!

Tuesday was a good day.... except for food. I went out to lunch and ate way too much and then for dinner I had a bagel w/ cream cheese on my way home from seeing the new baby. I have to get my butt back on track. Starting tomorrow morning I am on a strict diet and exercise program again. I will eat my Breakfast, Lunch, Snack and Dinner and that is it!! I will start walking on the treadmill again as well, at least 1 mile, maybe more!! I will post my success tomorrow night.

Once I figure out how to publish a picture I will add a picture of the new baby!!

Home...

2007-04-08T17:59:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness I'm home. I loved visiting my brother, but boy am I tired. There is definitely something to be said for your own bed. I'm not sure if it is because I am fat but my husband and I have a hard time sleeping in a bed that is smaller than a king. I'm curious to see if it is still true when I reach my goal weight. I can't wait to be able to spread out on my own side of the bed and not feel like I am going to fall off the edge.

I added a couple new features over the weekend. I added a surgery countdown ticker and a site visitation counter (at the suggestion of my husband). I also added my post-op follow-ups to my Important Dates list.

Getting Back on Track....

2007-04-07T20:07:00.000-05:00

Well after having a weekend visit with my Brother I'm going to have to get back on track. I definitely ate way too much and I am paying for it as I don't feel especially wonderful. I had 3 pieces of french toast this morning and some corned-beef hash. My tummy was definitely not to happy with that choice. Oh well, I figure that this will probably be the last time, if not the last time, that I go out to breakfast prior to surgery. We went to an awesome Chinese/Vietnamese/Thai restaurant tonight to celebrate my brother's birthday - he's 45 :) I had beef tips w/ asparagus in a great sauce. It was absolute heaven. I then came home and had a piece of carrot cake that was way too big, but boy was it good. My tummy was a little off after all of that to, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle.

Since I am so energized after walking for a half an hour, I'm going to try to walk in the morning before I go to work. I can give it a shot, and if worse comes to worse I'll continue walking at night. I twisted my neck tonight moving to get in the car after dinner and it is still bothering me, hopefully I won't be in too much pain after the 4 hour trip home tomorrow.

I am getting back on track starting tomorrow with the doctor recommended diet as well as the exercise routine that I have for the rest of the week. I am going to a Quilt Show in Lancaster, PA this coming weekend, so I need to be good all week in case I can't follow the doctor recommend diet program while I am there. I am going with two really good friends that have been through the surgery that can help me if I get stuck. I am definitely going to take my walking gear as there is a fitness room at the hotel that we are staying at. That way I won't break my momentum.

I guess I really can't wait as I have really noticed how fat I really am during the past few weeks as I have been more observant of things that I can't or don't want to do. Hopefully the next 60 Days will pass quickly and will be uneventful, except for continuing to loose weight.

Boring Update

2007-04-06T19:19:00.000-05:00

I'm visiting my brother in Connecticut this weekend and am just posting really quickly. I have definitely gotten in all of my water today and I had a Shrimp Cesar Salad (with the dressing on the side) for lunch and some chips and salsa... mmmmmmm........ For dinner I had some pizza. Not the best choices for loosing weight, but still okay. I didn't snack at all today.

I just finished showering after walking 1.5 miles in 32 minutes. That is a new record for me. I hope to walk tomorrow too.

TTFN

And the First Month Goes By.....

2007-04-04T17:14:00.000-05:00

Wow, its hard to believe that a whole month has gone by. I went into the office today to have my weight checked as well as a nasal swab testing for some bacteria that I can remember the name of. I lost a total of 3.8 pounds and I am thrilled. I wish it was more since I worked to hard to get here, but a loss is a loss no matter how much it is. I made a list today of my accomplishments for the first month and created a goal list for the second month:

Accomplishments:
** I don't drink soda any more and in place of it I drink 64+ oz. of water.
** I follow Dr. Graber's Diet Plan
** I started walking on the treadmill
** I LOST 3.8 Pounds!!

Goals:
** Walk 30 minutes on the treadmill 6 out of 7 days a week
** Stop using Motrin and replace it with Tylenol
** Learn to not drink before and after meals

My next appointment is at 9am on May 2nd, the same day as my Nutrition and Exercise Consultations. I'm on my way.....

Just as an update.... I just walked 1.25 miles in 30 minutes.

Walkin, Walkin, Walkin....

2007-04-01T19:24:00.000-05:00

I just walked 3/4 of a mile in 17:49. Not to bad for an out of shape, morbidly obese 30 year old. I am going to make it my goal to walk every day this week and walk when I go to my brother-in-laws this weekend. I'd like to be up to a full mile in 20-22 minutes by next week. I'm hoping that is a reasonable goal and not too ambitious. I wasn't exactly great with my food today. I had a bowl of cheerios this morning for breakfast, a half of an egg salad sandwich on a pita and for dinner I had a couple pieces of bread, a stuffed pepper and a piece of carrot cake that I made for my Father's birthday. It was really good, but it was too much. I can't believe in the past few weeks how well things have been going. I've given up all soda, I drink at least 64 oz. of water a day if not more, I eat breakfast now, which is good in the long run and I try to have frozen entrees for both lunch and dinner everyday. Saturday wasn't a very good day, I had a huge bowl of cheerios for breakfast, a McDonald's chicken sandwich with fries for lunch and some Prime Rib and Fried Clams for dinner. I didn't snack in between, but at least I didn't eat all of my dinner that was served as it was a huge, huge portion. I was bad though and had a piece of Coconut Cream pie for dessert. I won't be having any desserts this week and no extra snacking between meals. I have to get weighed in at 4:30 on Thursday, just before we leave for Connecticut. I can honestly say that I didn't eat as much as I could have in the past and I am starting to be satisfied with smaller portions. I just realized that today is the first day of April and I start all my Pre-op appointments next month, my how time flies!!

I guess some people never grow up....

2007-03-31T20:32:00.000-05:00

I went to my good friend's wedding today and it was a beautiful ceremony. I ended up having a anxiety attack and making myself sick though. I went and got my hair done today so that I would feel good about how I looked. I bought a dress especially for the occasion and wore new shoes that were really cute. I was really confident until two women that I know walked into the ceremony. I was polite, I smiled and waved. However what happened next made me extremely self conscious. They kept looking and me and talking and laughing, so much so that my husband even noticed. It wasn't like there was anyone behind me either, it was aimed at me. I know it is probably because they aren't happy with their lives and need to drag someone else down, but why me? I hate being fat, I hate being self conscious and most of all I hate the way people treat me because I am fat. I hope to see a different side of people after the surgery, but one thing is for sure, I will NEVER EVER treat a person the way I have been treated while being FAT!!! I was so upset today that I couldn't even stay for the reception. I was on the verge of tears I was so distraught. Thank goodness for my husband, he is the best guy in the whole world. He got me calmed down and made me laugh. It made the biggest difference in the world at least I could go home and not spend the rest of the evening in tears. Even thinking about it now, it makes me nauseous, how can people be so mean?

Old Records Received

2007-03-28T18:56:00.000-05:00

I logged onto my account on Dr. Graber's website and they received my old records from my endocrinologist as well as my PCP. That is one less thing that I have to worry about.

I am being extremely good with my diet as I get weighed in a week from tomorrow. I want to show them that I am serious about this surgery. I just hope that I am loosing. My jeans keep sliding down so hopefully that is a good sign. I didn't walk yesterday because I spend almost the entire day packing our office at work because we moved to another building today. I was wiped out when I go home. I am going to try to go walk tonight so that I can make a habit of it.

A Few More Things Off of the List....

2007-03-26T20:09:00.000-05:00

Done - Referrals for all Pre-Op Appointments from PCPs Office
Done - Fax request for PCP to send copies of my records to Dr. Graber's Office
Done - Thyroid Blood Work
-----------------------------
Wow. I made some serious headway today. I was going to ask my boss today about the working from home, but he had a family emergency and had to leave early this morning. I'll try to touch base with him tomorrow. I took care of the referrals and request for files to be sent first thing this morning. My husband and I went out at lunch so that I could have my thyroid blood work done and we stopped at McDonalds. I had a cheeseburger Happy Meal, with a small fry and a bottled water. I wanted a toy, but I got NOTHING. Oh well.

I walked a half of a mile today and it wasn't too bad. I wanted to do more, but I was afraid that I would over do it and be sore tomorrow. I'm looking forward to increasing my speed and distance. I want to prove to my husband that I'm going to stick with it so that he'll be on board with my decision to get and Elliptical Machine after the surgery.

Got the Letter....

2007-03-25T20:02:00.000-05:00

I finally got the letter and paperwork from Dr. Graber's office. Everything seems to be all set I have to go have blood work done as well as have some files transferred to his office. I need to get that done sooner rather than later so that they can get information to the Insurance Company. I'll try to get it done this week. I can cross another thing off of my list from last week. The treadmill is out of the corner so that I can walk even if it is raining out as Spring is FINALLY here!!! The only two things that are still on my original list are to call my PCPs office to get referrals for my appointments and to ensure that I can work from home for the two weeks after surgery.

I've been busy all weekend and I can honestly say that I've eaten out at least once every day. I'm trying to be good, and I am making better decisions and I'm definitely noticing that I am not as hungry all the time and I am eating less. I know that I still have a long way to go and I am hoping that it will get easier as I get closer to the surgery.

I went shopping with my mother 2 days this weekend and I have a lot of respect for smaller people now. I may be very large, but my mother is a size 4. She has difficulties finding clothes too. I guess that it just goes to show you that no matter what size you are you can't always find things that are perfect for you. I can't wait to be thinner - shopping will be fun!

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures!

2007-03-23T20:07:00.000-05:00

Well my husband took pictures of me this morning both in my underwear (only for my eyes) as well as with clothes on from the Front, Left Side, Back and Right Side. I was a little shocked by them but as he told me this morning he thinks that I have lost weight since I went to Dr. Graber for my first consultation, which did make me feel a little better.

I've been updating a file on my PC with what I've been eating on a daily basis as well as my water intake. I'm hoping that it will help me stay focused. I went out to lunch on Thursday and said I would only have 1 breadstick. I lied, they were calling my name and because I was in a class all morning I ate breakfast much earlier than normal that day I was ready to eat my arm off by the time I made it to lunch. I had a bowl of soup, salad and 4 Breadsticks. I was a bad, bad girl. I came home and had the other 1/2 of my entree from Wednesday for dinner.

Today I went to lunch with my Mother and had a 1/2 of a tuna sandwich w/ a small handful of chips and about 5 french fries. I was more than satisfied. The only bad thing that happened today was that I had stopped at Walmart for a few things and by the time I was checking out I was starving and thirsty. I got a bottle of water which wasn't the problem and a 100 calorie pack of Beef Jerky. The jerky was awesome until I remembered that it was a Friday during Lent - eek. I had to call my mother to ask if I would go to he!! for eating meat on a Friday, to which she replied NO! It wasn't like I did it knowingly, oops!!

I logged onto my account on Dr. Graber's website today to find out that my medical consultation is scheduled with an EKG on May 23rd. I've got quite the list of appointments and they are all written down on my calendar so that I can keep them straight. I hope that I get a letter from the office telling me who the appointments are with as right now they are just dates and times.

I don't have much planned this weekend other than working on finishing a quilt that I am making for my girlfriend' s wedding that is this coming weekend. It is all done with the exception of hand sewing on the binding. It will take some time, but I'm hoping to get it done between tomorrow and Sunday.

What a Difference

2007-03-21T19:35:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought cutting out diet soda would make such a difference in how I feel. I am completely off of soda and have been for about a week and a half and I feel such a big difference. I actually enjoy water now. I like it plain, with lemon, and of course with any variation of Crystal Light there is. You have to love the little packets to go - they're awesome!!!

I went out to dinner with my husband tonight and he really noticed a big difference in how and what I ate. I was eating much slower and savoring everything. I also didn't eat nearly as much as I have in the past. I had some soup and a slice of bread. About 1/2 of my dinner entree and we shared a piece of coconut cream pie of which he probably had most of of it, but that is okay we enjoyed ourselves. I don't even feel the urge to have soda when he has it anymore which is a-okay with me.

Over dinner we talked about making a photo journal of my progress. I am tempted to take a picture from the front as well as the side once a month from here until I meet my goal weight. I think that I will take the first pictures this weekend. It will be a little late on the start, but that is okay. I don't think that I have lost any weight between my initial consult and now.

I have to go to a training class for work tomorrow which will be a nice break. I am going with two of my officemates and we decided that we'd go to Olive Garden for lunch for Soup, Salad and Breadsticks. I have already promised myself a bowl of soup, a salad and ONE breadstick, nothing more than that. I'll have to stop at the store on my way to class tomorrow to get some water for the day. I've been averaging 80-110 ounces of water a day and I don't want to miss out on my water.

Two Things Checked Off

2007-03-19T20:06:00.000-05:00

I called the insurance company at 1:45pm and talked with Twila. She was very nice and extremely helpful. She told me that both of the Anesthesiologist Groups that are at the hospital are not participating with my insurance, however with anesthesiologists they only need a referral from the surgeon performing the surgery to be considered a In-Network provider. That did make things a little easier.

I also put in for vacation from June 7th to June 20th and it was approved. I haven't heard anything about there being a problem with me working from home during the time I am recuperating so I hope that it doesn't become a problem.

I am soooo tired, otherwise I would have checked off a 3rd thing on my list today. That treadmill is still sitting there, buried in the corner. My husband has said that we'll get it out tomorrow come he!! or high water :)